Ashley Musick - The World Race 2006

Meeting Needs, Bringing Kingdom in Haiti: Video

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

AIM has taken the footage from our recent World Race Alumni trip to Haiti and made a video. This shows clips of the people we met, the Pastors, the devastation, the ministry, the living conditions, and the HOPE we experienced on our trip. Please take 3 minutes to watch this video and pray about your part in bringing restoration to this nation.

Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Drastic Measures: Overcoming the Perversion of My Heart

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I'm an internal processor. You may not think that's true for me since I'm known to be an outgoing, extroverted person. But when it's time to organize the things in my mind and heart, the vast experiences I've been blessed to have, the amazing words and teachings of mentors and coaches... I need to get away and do that.

Here's the bad news... I rarely take the time to get away and bring organization to these things. I just don't take advantage of the time I have. It's easier to claim I need "to rest my mind" and dive into another world via the TV, a book, or even into the lives of my friends.

In my most recent and meager attempts to process through my crazy life, I've seen that my pursuit of God isn't what it should be. People talk about "being romanced" by Him. If I'm honest I'm not there, but I want to be.

I'm reading A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God. Everything he writes is amazing, and while I've read this particular book before, it's certainly speaking to the deep places of my heart right now. Tozer talks about how "things have beocme necessary to us, a development never orginally intended. God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution."

I've been on the World Race twice. Abandonment happened. I think it has since un-happened. (Yes, I know that's not a word.)

"It would seem that there is within each of us an enemy which we tolerate at our peril."

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matt. 5:3

I want the Kingdom of Heaven so the time has come for some painful extractions to take place in my heart. This ironically is something else the Lord keeps bringing up. This kind of "cleansing" or "healing" often hurts really bad. I just read a blog by another contemporary author that I enjoy, Mark Batterson. In the blog he talks about how, "the Lord often has to hurt us to heal us."

Tozer gives the example of Abraham and Issac. With time running out in Abraham's long life, the promised blessing of a son finally comes. I imagine that there was instantly a love for that son which I can't fully describe or have yet to understand in it's fullness. If it was me, and God asked for the sacrifice of my promised blessing... the love of my life... I wonder what I would have thought? I wonder what I would have said? I wonder what my response would have been?

These "things" in my life that seem to take up my time and take precedent over my pursuit of God aren't even as valuable or meaningful as Issac surely was to Abraham. I grieve as I realize this fact.

In the midst of that grieving I rejoice in the knowledge that it is time for something to change and God's heart is that I "would no longer be a slave to the tyranny of things." (Tozer) This is where I believe the "has to hurt us to heal us" part comes into play. So as I redirect my pursuit of God I wonder what He's about to ask me to take to the altar of sacrifice. Like Abraham, I wonder if I will consider it "an act of worship?" (Gen. 22:5)

Tozer imagines that once Abraham put his son on the altar to sacrifice, and was at the point of no return, God might have said, "I never intended that you should actually slay the lad. I only wanted to remove him from the temple of your heart that I might reign unchallenged there. I wanted to correct the perversion that existed in your love." This is God hurting us so that He might heal us.

It's time that God corrects the perversion that exists in my love for him. I want the habit of clinging to possessions, security, relationships, and anything that's not Him, to be stripped away.

I want to live like I believe that I must lose my life to find it.

You know, before The World Race I believe that possessions and things were important and could have been described as an idol in my life. Now, I see that it's not necessarily possessions taking the place of the Lord in my life. I don't have much. These days it just comes down to the fact that my priorities and decisions don't always reflect that He is my all in all.

I'm seeking the blessing of a deeper love and knowledge of Him than I've ever known. Even though I'm just at the beginning of this process, I know it's bound to hurt. This is how Tozer describes it:

"The ancient curse will not go out painlessly; the tough old miser within us will not lie down and die in obedience to our command. HE must be torn out of our heart like a plant from the soil; he must be extracted in agaony and blood like a tooth from the jaw. He must be expelled from our soul by violence, as Christ expelled the money changers form the temple."

I believe it's a defining moment where I get to choose Him first. These moments happen every once in awhile, and sometimes I recognize them and sometimes I don't. I'm asking for a deep cleansing that will probably hurt, but it's time. I bring this before anybody who reads this blog and I ask that you take some time to personally reflect and dig into your own heart. Ask yourself one question:

Does God reign unchallenged in the temple of your heart?

It's time He did in my heart.

Should You Go To Haiti?

Thu, 4 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Before I left for Haiti a couple of weeks ago, I heard some negative feedback from a few different directions. The question wasn't, "Does Haiti need help?" The question was, "Should YOU got to Haiti and be that help?"

Well I prayed, and I got a word from God about my participation and my trip. I was called to GO even though the planning was difficult, the preparations were stressful, and I faced a constant fear of all the unknown emotions that awaited me. So, just 10 days after the earthquake, I pulled into the Dominican border town of Jimani, stared up at the hospital I'd seen on the news clips, and gazed out across the lake to the rattled nation of Haiti.

There were tents from all kinds of organizations. Relief agency trucks rolled one after the other down the street. Helicopters constantly flew over town, some towards Haiti, some back towards Santo Domingo. There were people everywhere helping. The question bubbled up in the back of my mind, "What can you and I really do to help these people?"

I'm not a doctor. I don't really like to see the blood drip from my finger when I peel it rather than the apple. We didn't carry hi-tech equipment that would help us locate those stuck beneath the rubble. Nobody on the team could fly a helicopter. It doesn't seem like we had much to offer.

Basically, all we really had were big hearts and willing hands and feet..... and you know what happened?

God moved.

While we didn't preform a life-saving operation in our week of service, we may have helped somebody who will someday soon. We took two days to help organize a storage closet and shipping container full of medical supplies at a local church. While we didn't bring in a cargo plane of food and water, we were able to give 5,000 bottles of water and 350 lbs of rice and beans to a church that can distribute them to the refugees who are showing up at their door.

There weren't any meetings of heads of states, but there was a meeting for pastors from Port-au-Prince who were able to tell us what they needed. We're now able to partner with them and help them meet the needs of those in their community... the ones they've been serving all along. We couldn't clothe all of the refugees that have fled the capitol without any worldly possessions, but I know a Haitian family and a Haitian police officer who have an extra change of clothes now. We didn't change out IV's at the clinic, but we prayed for a lady with a broken leg who amidst the busyiness of the day, had been mostly overlooked.

We helped a local Dominican church serve soup twice a day to refugees in the park and at the hospital. I know that's not a complete reconcilation between two neighboring countries that have a long-standing relationship of bitterness, contempt, and hate, but it's a big step forward for the Body of Christ when a Dominican church reaches out to the Haitians in need.

So I came to a conclusion... The big time organizations are helping. They're getting doctors and rescue teams and helicopter pilots in there to do some important and really hard work. They are saving lives. Their sweat and tears are worthwhile.

But without the small time peeople.... the ones with big hearts and willing hands and feet, there's nobody to cook the food that they bring in. There's nobody to pass it out to the patients who are hungry and thirsty, laying under tarps and tents of sheets in the hot Carribbean sun. There's nobody to sit and listen to their stories. There's nobody to pray with the brokenhearted and wipe the tears away. Supplies pile up and the things that are needed and within reacht stay hidden. People are up and walking around... yes... Praise God!

But without the intentional care and relationships provided by people like pastors, mission teams, and you and me... they still walk around with despair in their eyes.

I've been trying to describe my feelings about my experience in Haiti last week, and it still sounds a little random. Still, I have an urgency to let YOU know about what can happen by serving the people of Haiti. I'll describe it as a picture, but really... it's something I FEEL. It's weird, but everywhere we went, I would feel this in my spirit.

It's like there is a giant hole, but it was full of stuff... compacted and pressed down, all of this stuff filled the void. When I look at it, you can tell that what fills this hole is not natural. But now, after the earthquake, it's like all of this has been cleaned out. The space has been emptied. What was once full is now empty. There is a space to fill. There's an open window for us as the Church to go and fill that space. I can feel the holy anticipation in my spirit whenever I think about Haiti. The space is waiting to be filled and it wants to be filled.

I know this is true because I saw open hearts and open doors that weren't open before. I was in Haiti exactly one year ago, and there was a very different feel to our ministry. We'd talk about the Lord. We'd pray. We'd love on the people. It was tough though, like we had to give 150% every day to gain an inch of ground. It doesn't seem that way anymore. It's like every word we speak drops 50 seeds of God's love into the void of people's hearts. They are taking root and growing faster than before.

It all seems overwhelming. The number of dead and the endless road of rebuilding that Haiti faces is daunting.

Just because the news is talking more about super bowl ads, tea parties, and recalls on vehicles, don't forget Haiti.

Just because you aren't a doctor or rescue worker, don't think you can't make an enternal impact.

The time to bring hope to Haiti is now and YOU play a vital role in making that happen.
YOU get to help fill the void with the love of God.

Pray. Give. Go.

The life you speak over Haiti in prayer could shift everything in the Spiritual realm. The dollar you give can buy formula for babies in need. The hand you hold can bring new life to the empty eyes of a nation.

Stay on top of AIM's continued efforts and long-term plans at the AIM HAITI BLOG and give all that you can to help meet the needs of these hurting people through AIM's HAITI DONATION page.

D.R. & Haiti

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I wanted to give you a quick update from Ashley and the team.

The whole team is doing really well. Besides being hot and tired they have really enjoyed working together as a team and being able to bless the people in the Dominican Republic and Haiti.

The team has been able to distribute lots of supplies that have been donated. One of their main contacts in the D.R. has found five pastors that they have partnered with. These pastors are going to help make sure that people's needs are taken care of. They will be instrumental in being able to help the people in Haiti as well as helping our future teams be a blessing.

While they have been in the D.R. and Haiti the team has partnered with a church that has been working on the boarder in Jimani. The church has started a food program, serving gallons of soup a couple of times a day. The team has helped the church prepare and serve food as well as help them clean and organize.

Please continue to pray for the team - that the Lord would give them strength and energy as they only have a couple of days of ministry, that they would have divine appointments meeting the right people at the right time, for blessings for all of the people and pastors that have been serving, and that the team will be able to process the things that they have seen and felt and that they would be able to praise and worship through it all.

'Twas the Night Before We Left....

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

It's been one crazy week. Last week at this time I was only beginning to think about the possibility of taking a group of Alumni to help with the relief efforts in Haiti. Now, I'm up at 1:00 AM packing and finalizing some details before I leave on a plane for the Dominican Republic in the morning. All the pictures and videos from the news will get much closer tomorrow. The stories will become real. They'll have faces and names.

When we send out World Racers we don't expect them to come back the same person they were when they left. I don't expect to come back the same person after this week. If I'm honest, I'll tell you that I just don't know what I'm thinking and feeling right now. I'm tired from this past week's efforts to get a team of Alumni together and get the details and vision of the trip hammered out. I'm absolutely trusting God for strength to get through this week, knowing it's going to require more than I have left in my tank. But I want to be empty when I get back.... I want to give and serve and love with every ounce of my being. My heart breaks for these people; it breaks for my brothers and sisters in Christ. If it's already broken, I don't have a clue what it will look like at the end of the week.

I'm excited. I've never had as much love, prayer, encouragement, and support for any other trip I've ever been on. People are dropping me encouraging emails and giving me encouraging words. There are always new notes on facebook. I get phone calls from friends who want to pray with me. I have fun messages when I miss the phone calls. I have a family and church at home in WV who are behind me. The Staff and my community here in Gainesville have surrounded me and laid hands on me to pray for the trip. Alumni have gotten behind the team to support and pray for us 24/7 for the entire length of our trip. Racers on the field in countries like Cambodia, Kenya, and New Zealand are lifting us up by name. It's incredible.

This prayer covering has caused a shift in the atmosphere as we have prepared this week. As I dealt with details over the weekend, it was lonely and confusing and difficult and draining. But as soon as the word got out and people began to pray, the fog lifted. I can't wait to return from this trip and testify to God's amazing love and power through prayer. It's the key to this entire week. Thank you to all who are providing that covering.

We'll be flying into Santo Domingo, getting some supplies, staying with a contact, and then heading out to the border on Friday. We have the opportunity to work at a church and hospital there as well as connect with a pastor with some great needs at another border. Ultimately we want to walk away with a book of information to hand off to the people at AIM who are developing our long-term strategy to mobilize people and resources to bring restoration and redemption to Haiti. We are going to hug those who need hugging. We're going to pray for the sick... we're believing for miracles, the kind where limbs grow back and the dead are raised. We're going to hand out food, and we're beliving it will miraculously feed the five thousand. We want God to multiply our efforts for His glory and out of love for all those that are suffering. Along the way we're going to document what our trip looks like, what the ministry entails, and some personal stories from the people we meet along the way.

It's going to be a busy and amazing week. We are going to call and give updates so they can be posted throughout the week. I doubt we will be able to personally blog until we return. If you'd like to stay up-to-date on what is happening with our team and ministry and how to best pray for us, please subscribe to updates from http://haiti.adventures.org.

Also, please pray about supporting our team and the ministry we will be doing this week. If you feel led to give, please follow these instructions:

Go to this direct link to give: https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc= (this is also accessible by going to www.theworldrace.org and clicking on the "Donate" tab on the homepage. Hit the button that says, "click here to give!")

Once you're on this page, change the program on the drop-down menu to a "World Race Project." A new box will appear, for a description of the project. Please have supporters put WR HAITI as the name of the Project.

Again, thanks for the prayer, the support, and the encouragement this past week. It's already made a difference and we are all blessed to partner together in this ministry. For His Glory!

We're Going In.... WR ALUMNI TRIP

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Since the earthquake happened in Haiti we've all been looking for opportunities to help. AIM is launching a huge effort to make a long-term difference. Creating opportunities for short-term teams will take a lot of details and information that you can't get unless you are there. Somebody has to go in first.

I've been working with many people to organize a team of World Race Alumni to go into the country, and we're leaving this Thursday. That's right... we're leaving on Thursday . I'll actually being going out to lead the team. My heart was broken for the people of Haiti on my World Race trip last February, and I want to help. The trip will be from Thursday the 21st through Wednesday the 27th.

We'll be traveling to Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic and traveling to the border. The vision is that we will go as a first response team representing AIM, gathering basic info on contacts and travel, and to provide immediate relief to the people suffering in Haiti.

I talked with Seth Barnes last night about this trip and AIM's bigger picture. Adventures in Missions has experience working in crisis and disaster situations. They responded to the tsunami and to Hurricane Katrina. We want to make a long-term difference in Haiti. I have hopes that our Alumni trip will help gather necessary information for the many teams that will follow in our footsteps to build into the long-term plan of bringing restoration to a part of Haiti... physical and spiritual.

Being some of the first to go in will not be easy. We're still working on details regarding transportation, communication, and ministry contacts. But we need to start somewhere... there are people dying in the streets. Any hassle in transportation is immediately worth it because finding answers to those problems will make it easier for a team of medical personal going in the next week.

We're going to pray. We're going to minister to those we meet. We're going to tell their stories.

And this is only the beginning.

Will you help us? Will you help send this team of Alumni out to help pave the way?

We have asked each Alumni who is participating to buy their own plane tickets to the Dominican Republic. They are getting friends, family, and supporters to help them with that. In order to cover ground costs and ministry needs (any opportunities to meet immediate needs like food, water, and blankets) we have set up a special project to accept donations. Please pray and give! We need your help to pave the way. Please give to this project to help this team of Alumni!

Go to this direct link to give: https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc= (this is also accessible by going to www.theworldrace.org and clicking on the "Donate" tab on the homepage. Hit the button that says, "click here to give!")
Once you're on this page, change the program on the drop-down menu to a "World Race Project." A new box will appear, for a description of the project. Please have supporters put WR HAITI as the name of the Project.

We're asking that all Alumni help us raise money for this Project. Reach out to your personal networks of family and friends. If you've watched the news, read the blogs, and wondered what you can do... please do this. We absolutely need you to make this happen. Please give abundantly and sacrificially.

In addition to financial support, this team will need a special covering of prayer. Pray for safety. Pray for open doors and clear communication. Haiti has always been a spiritual battleground as well. There is a war in the heavens for this nation and we are sure to experience it firsthand in the coming week.

Family, friends, supporters, blog readers.... You are needed. You are the foundation for the ministry we do and we thank you.

For Him and His Kingdom! Jesus is the Hope of Haiti!

I Can't Escape... Haiti

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

It's like I can't escape it. I actually feel a little guilty for trying.

In the past couple of days I've been overwhelmed with gratitude and I catch myself every time I start to complain. Why? Because this morning I got up out of my bed. I left the warmth of my covers and went to my bathroom with running water. I got to stand at my pantry door and ponder the various options for breakfast before I decided I'd rather stop at the Biscuit Shoppe on my way to work.

So many people in Haiti didn't sleep in a bed last night. They no longer have a house to provide shelter. They woke up laying in the street, covered only in the dust and grime from the terrible tragedy that has fallen upon their nation. Once their up, they walk out into the rubble in search of clean water... in search of food. There aren't any options.

I kept the TV on CNN all day yesterday. I watched the pictures and videos finally start to come in from the airwaves. As horrible as we expected it to be... it may be worse than we imagined. The reporters were walking over dead bodies just to take shots of a group of Haitians trying to pull a 15-year-old girl out of the rubble who had been trapped for 18 hours.

I find myself bursting out with prayer as various clips show on my television screen.

We need to help.

We ALL need to help.

I love working for Adventures in Missions. We're already putting all our efforts into getting people to help in Haiti. I have some friends that work in the Dominican Republic long-term with AIM. Miguel and Kristen Shaul have traveled to the border to get as much information as they can on getting teams into Haiti, and to assess what needs can be meet on the smaller out-lying villages that were also affected by the earthquake. I spent most of the evening yesterday trying to round up World Race Alumni who might be able to take off for several weeks and help organize our disaster relief efforts in Haiti and mobilize short-term teams that we want to send down to help. The other directors and many of my co-workers are working around the clock to make connections on the field, to set-up a fund for donations to Haiti, and to make plans for recruiting and accepting teams to send to Haiti. We all want to help.

This past year I led a squad of World Racers. In February we visited and ministered all across Haiti. I worked with a team at the Cambry Orphanage in Les Cayes. It's a town in the south that has suffered some damage, but escaped the major devastation. Some of our teams worked in Gonaives, a city north of Port-au-Prince. They were helping with people there and doing some relief work regarding hurricanes that ravaged the city in late 2008. A few more teams worked with a contact that one of the racers, Liz Froba, had worked with in the past. The word from their ministry, Canaan, is that everyone is fine. They are located closer to Port-au-Prince and are preparing to help as best as they can. Many of the locals there have family and friends that they still haven't been able to get in contact with. Finally, two teams worked with another missions organization in Jacmel Haiti. This is what I read about that city on CNN this morning:

"The people of Jacmel, Haiti, are lining the streets, setting tires on fire to light up a town that has been reduced to rubble in many parts and is without power. The flames are all that illuminate what remains of this town on the southern coast of Haiti, about 25 miles from the capital Port-au-Prince, Haiti." - CNN

While we were in Haiti last year, we committed an hour of intercessory prayer for the country every day. We were living at an orphanage without electricity, and so after the sun went down and the orphans were asleep, we would stand out underneath the stars and pray for Haiti. Last night, Sammie McCowan, an Alumnus from that team organized a conference call for all interested to join in and pray for Haiti. We declared hope, we prophesied life, and we spoke redemption over that nation once again. We need to continue to do that.

If you're like me, and you want to help. If you just can't allow yourself to escape to our everyday lives when something like this is just a few hundred miles off our country's shores... then please join us at Adventures in Missions.

Here's how you can help:

Give a Gift.

Click here to give a tax-deductible financial gift for the purchase of supplies needed for first response (food, blankets, shelters, basic health care, etc.).

Give Prayer.

Continue to pray over the country of Haiti, over the ministry that we're establishing down there, and for the restoration of lives! Leave a comment on this blog with a prayer for the Haitian people.

Give Yourself.

Spots are still open on the July 2010 Race - second stop is Haiti. Apply Here!

Also, we'll be sending more short-term AIM teams out soon for immediate response. Check adventures.org/haiti for updates.

Why I Cry for Haiti Today...

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

This is my friend Titi... He lives in an orphange in Haiti.

I have lots of friends in Haiti.

Haiti is a beautiful country.

Yesterday the country of Haiti faced tragedy.

A 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit the capitol city, and thousands are feared dead.

I know many of my friends are safe because they live throughout Haiti, and not in the capitol.

But I know the people. I love the people of Haiti.

In 2008 they faced 4 different tropical storms/hurricanes. Floods. Mudslides.

They've had political unrest for years.

The spiritual climate is very dark because of the many followers of Voodoo.

It's not an easy place to live.

And now this...

I know the HOPE of Haiti.

Please join me in prayer for Haiti.

For my friends.

For those in need.

For those who are going to help.

For hope.

Here are some videos from the organization

we ministered with last Febuary in Haiti.

Please visit their website and pray about helping.

The Global Orphan Project

The first video is about Titi... the little guy in the first picture.

The second video is about the Earthquake.

Oh the Journey He Has Taken Us On

Thu, 3 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

After 11 Months on the field, you learn a few things. You get to see God work in incredible ways. You grow.

Here are the lessons learned, the truths of who God is, and the growth and breakthrough that the January 2009 Squad had over the journey on The World Race. It was an honor and privelage to lead them this year. There is no greater joy for me than to see these people learn and experience God in brand new ways. Seeing them come to life has brought me life. Please watch this video that Di Dinnis made detailing the amazing journey they've all taken. Celebrate with us.... God moved and is still moving in bigger ways than we can imagine.

Thanks H Squad... for an incredible year.

The Balancing Act

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The Balancing Act:

My Christian life is a balancing act. I am assuming that's how it goes for most people. You hear a sermon or read the Word and get a revelation and you think, "I've got to live a life of faith!" The next day you hear about stewardship and you're like, "I need to be a good steward!" The day after that you're thinking, "Humm.... faith and stewardship. Where do you find the middle of the road on that one?!"

Balance.

I want to walk into life expecting God to be bigger than I can imagine and to do great things. I want to pray big prayers and believe in the impossible. I want to pray away poverty and see Kingdom come. Still I know how we grow in trials. I realize there is suffering. I see that the church in China and other persecuted countries don't pray about their persecution because it propels them to a deeper reliance and focus on God Almighty.

Balance.

I know that when I disciple and minister to WR participants they need love, compassion, and mercy. We are about tenderness and grace as a staff. But discipline and correction and feedback are needed to bring people back on the road after straying off course. Sometimes you have to say that tough word. Where's the line of tenderness and toughness?

Balance.

It's not either/or... it's both/and. I hear that a lot. We all want clear-cut answers to how you live and walk-out your Christian lfie. That thin white line in the middle isn't so clear and when you're the most desperate to find it, that's when it's the most difficult to discern and find. It's a holy tension with which I have a love-hate relationship.

In struggling to find this balance in my life, I've found a few key things to help ease this holy tension.

Community. If you want a reflection, look in a mirror. My community acts as a mirror in my life. When I want to know if I look like Jesus and live a Kingdom lifestyle, I go to my mirrors. Sometimes my mirrors come to me first. At the end of the day I don't have to rely on my own assessment of a situation or circumstance. I realize that my perspective and experience can limit how I read the stuff I go through and the decisions I have to make. I've got a close-knit group that offer their eyes and ears to help me find the difficult balance of life.

Transparency. I've got a great community, but I've learned that if I'm not transparent and honest it's nothing more than a group of friends playing games and hanging out. Eveybody longs for "more" in their relationships. You get "more' by being honest and open with those people in your life. Without this kind of honesty, the crystal-clear mirror reflection turns into looking at a ripply, cloudy and muddy river. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay for things to be messy and difficult. Let's get it out in the open and figure out what to do next. If I'm honest, the struggle to find balance is sometimes a little overwhelming and sometimes I just don't have the patience and strength to come back to the middle of the road.

Coaches. Sometimes what I need is a little more life experience. I look back on my life and see where a little balance would have been good. Now that I'm older and more experienced, I'd probably have some great feeback for that struggling teenage self. It seems to be clear that my new adult problems could use some experience from those who've walked before me. I've also learned that this valuable insight from knowledgable experts doesn't usually just fall in your lap when you need it. I've got some great men and women that can help out, but it's my responsibility to seek them out for help. It would have the exact opposite effect if they were to hold my hand through life and point out each little potential stumbling block that could trip me up. I'd be weak. I'd be co-dependent. Then one day, I'd be alone without the capibilities to fend for myself. So I've got people who love me regardless, that watch from afar, pray like crazy, and answer my questions when I'm ready to ask for help. Who doesn't love that!

QT with JC. At the end of the day I have access to the best tight-rope walker ever. His name is Jesus. He is constantly at work through the whole process. He's there cluing my community into the fact that i'm a little off balance. His Holy Spirit is in me prompting me to reveal the reality of my heart. He's taken others over the same mountains and rough roads. But when my community's attention is focused elsewhere, when it's hard to be honest and vocally put my issues out there, when my coaches' experience just doesn't cover it... He's still there. All I need is Him, but He uses all these other steps to help me out too. It's incredible to call out to the creator of the universe and ask for some guidance. He speaks to me.... and He speaks to me daily if I take the time listen. Sometimes He brings balance to my life through a whisper that shakes my soul and others through those "There's the answer" moments when I read the Word.

Balance.

When I started asking this question about finding balance in my life, He showed up and spoke about all the ways He's helping keep me on the balance beam. With Christ taking the wheels on this process, I can flip, cartwheel, and backhand spring all along that tight little line. When I get to the end of the road, it's going to be a terrific dismount! All 10's...Camera flashes all over the arena...standing ovation. It's so great to be relieved of the pressure of having to do this in my own strength and power.

Have you asked Him to help with the balancing act of your life? I just got tired of trying to do it on my own. I think you'll like doing it this way much better. I know I do.

Video: The Reality of Human Trafficking

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This video was made by Brian Alonzo, a July 2008 World Race Alumni and friend. He and his wife Stacy are getting ready to be squad leaders for the August 2009 K Squad that leaves in about a month.

Human trafficking is a reality for millions of people all around the world. As World Racers, we've built relationships with people that are directly involved in this growing and horrific industry. This video will give you a glimpse of this enormous issue. The World Race isn't the only group that seeks to educate people about this, but helping get more people out on the mission field through our program will ensure that more people are taking responsibility for the problem and loving the people involved. You can start by supporting Brian and Stacy Alonzo as they lead the next group out into the world.

You're ALL Invited!!!!!

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hello Everyone! It's great to back stateside and it's good to be back at work in the office. Since leaving in January this World Race thing has exploded! The Squad I was leading was the largest squad we've ever had, but we're about to have a training camp for 90 people leaving on the August 2009 Race.

I love the vision of raising up a generation to transform the world and see the Kingdom of God fully realized in places like Cambodia, Guatemala, and Kenya. The World Race is a journey like no other! For those of you who have been following my journey for the past 3 1/2 years, know that the same adventure and ministry experiences await you on The World Race if you'll only apply!

If you're ready to be transformed through living out the Gospel every day in places all around the world, then it's time you prayed and considered The World Race. People ask me all the time if it was " a good experience." Well... yeah! I've seen and experienced things few people ever have. When I hear about AIDS on the news or about political unrest in Africa, I have faces and names of people I've met that tell the same stories. People think of "The Amazing Race" when I talk about The World Race, but I'll be the first to tell you that the reality of people and places around the world are better seen on this mission trip than on some TV show. The World Race is waking up our generation to the reality of life for people all over the world. It's adventurous and crazy!

The World Race gives you the opportunity to experience true Christian community. You aren't traveling alone! As you seek to grow, the best mirrors are your teammates. Not only do you abandon your bed, Chik-Fil-A, job security, and the normal American life on this trip, you realize you are meant to abandon your rights, your expectations, and your selfish desires. When all of that is stripped away and you find yourself on a cold mountain top in China, you put all your trust and faith in God. He's the one that is changing you to be more like Him and He's the one revealing His glory around the world.

He's inviting you to be a part of this.... Won't you apply???

Check out the October 2009 Race Route! Be the first World Racers to go to Western Africa!

Walking Through History

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The World seems so big when you sit on a couch at home and watch the news. Places seem so far away; the people seem so different. Many of us never get the chance to go and visit the faraway places and the various cultures and people that we see in our social studies books and on the Discovery channel. Over the past 5 years I've been blessed to travel the world. There are things I've seen and done that I never dreamed would be possible when I grew up in Bluefield, West Virginia. Seeing the Taj Mahal, the Great Pyramids, the Parthenon, ancient Mayan ruins, and the snowcapped peaks of the Himalayas are just some of the things I'll never forget. Aside from natural and historical wonders, I've seen the reality of life for millions of people all around the globe with which I can't fully relate. I had a little Indian beggar girl grab my plastic water bottle, tears streaming down her face, desperate screams escaping her mouth, as I drove away in a motorized rickshaw. I've held malnourished babies with bloated bellies. I feel to my knees on a dock in Croatia when a 9-year-old girl I had come to love went back to her abusive home where love was never expressed. And still, after all my travels and experiences, I don't have words to express what I saw the other day.

After leaving the Dominican Republic and Haiti, our squad traveled halfway around the world to Southeast Asia and the Kingdom of Cambodia. As part of our cultural training and in attempt to understand the people in this country, we toured the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum and The Killing Fields. It's one thing to read the horrific stories in a memoir. It's one thing to watch an hour long special detailing the history of Cambodia from 1975-1979. It's a whole other experience to walk into a room with one metal bed-frame, faded stains on the tiles, and a gruesome picture of the last body left in the room where you are now standing.

I love walking through History, but I found myself taking slow, careful steps through the Killing Fields. I had just walked past a tower of skulls, the memorial to all the victims of the bloody history. I saw pieces of clothing and bone on the path as I walked from one mass grave to the next. Most museums and memorial sites have a polished feel. I remember walking around the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington D.C. and thinking, "Wow, what a costly sacrifice." My heart hurt. I saw the names of the people on the memorial and I felt a pain deep inside. But the name's are glossed over and polished into the nice marble stones. Here in Cambodia, at both the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum and the Killing Fields, nothing is polished.

It's raw. It's real. It's so fresh.

The rusty barbed wire still blocks the view from the third floor of the school. What kind of horric things happened in the used-to-be classroom that caused everyday doctors, policemen, and lawyers, to jump from the 3rd story and provoked the guards to put up barbed wire to keep them from committing suicide? The signs say, "Mass Grave of 166 Victims Without Heads," and the harshness of the splintered wood, and hand-painted letters leave me speechless and empty. The fact that I could bend over, pick up a little girl's red, pleated skirt, and know that her body was beaten against the tree I'm leaning on, and then thrown into the pit in front of me gives me cold chills in the extreme humidity and heat.

Though it's becoming common for me to go around the world and see places of wonder and historical significance, this place is different. I leave the museum and the fields with a new reality of what we as humans are capable of doing to one another. It's not every day I come face to face with the depravity of humanity.

Today I walked away with a strange kind of gratitude. I was thankful that all these horrors were over in Cambodia. I was thankful that it wasn't a common occurrence to see all that I had seen. I was thankful that God sent his son Jesus to die on a cross, to rescue us from our own sin, and give humanity a hope beyond what we are capable of within ourselves. I was full of thankfulness that Jesus loves me, that He loves the people of Cambodia, and that He is good and at work in a world full of harsh, horrible realities.

VIDEO: Getting Around the World... with 54 People

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Everybody - Di Dinnis is at it again with her video skills. Check out the fun adventure of getting around the world. It's entertainment from the Dominican Republic to Cambodia!

What About Haiti?

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This month, after our adventure getting into Haiti, we arrived at Pastor Louis St. Germaine's home in Les Cayes Haiti. We only stayed at his house for two nights but they were blessed nights. We all had beds. There were warm showers with water pressure. We had 3 square meals a day that we could barely finish. There was air conditioning and even ice for the water in our Nalgene bottles.

Pastor Louis took us out for a tour of a couple of orphanages, his church, and the surrounding area we would be ministering in for the month. We liked Pastor Louis from the very beg

inning. With every story he told his love for the people of Haiti came through. We learned about the poverty of the area, the reaso

ns behind the poverty, the desperate situation for women in the country, the problems men faced to provide for their fam

ilies, the spiritual strongholds that kept both men and women bound up in all sorts of destructive cycles and sin, and we learned what his ministry was trying to do about all of it.

Our first stop was an orphanage outside of the city. It sat off the

main road, down a very bumpy and washed out dirt road, and high on a hill. This place was Cambry. On your way up the hill was a church, then you came up on the school, then the administration buildings, the pharmacy and clinic, and the orphanage houses. If you traveled up to the top of the hill there was a building that housed a technical center. The Cambry Technical Center only took up two small rooms in a gigantic building. The other parts of the building were being renovated. At one point the building was originally intended to be a home for retired pastors and ministry workers. For some reason, that planned never came through. Some of the rooms were used for orphan housing at one point, but the most recent plan was to turn the entire building into a guesthouse for mission teams, pastors, and anyone who came through the area.

We left Cambry after visiting all the classes and went into the town of Les Cayes to see Pastor Louis' church, and the orphanage within the city. It was incredibly close to the road and the center of the bustling city. We met the orphans through their classrooms once again, and then got back into the Land Rover to go somewhere else.

Pastor Louis took us to a site they were just beginning to turn into an orphanage. They had only staked out the land for the foundation the day we showed up to see the project. Pastor Louis had been telling us all about Voodoo and the powers the enemy has over the country on the way. When we arrived, he told us that this particular orphanage was going to be 10 miles from the city that was seen as the voodoo headquarters in Haiti.

Wow. The kids were moving right up to the gates of the enemy. So Team Manna and I decided it would be best to pray over the land, anoint the area, and declare its use for the Lord. We wanted these kids to be protected! We prayed with Pastor Louis and then covered the entire area with prayers and blessings.

Later that night, the team spent time praying over our options for ministry for the month. We decided that the Lord was leading us to live and work at the Cambry orphanage. So the next morning, we packed our stuff, left the beds and air conditioning, and moved to Cambry.

We had talked with Pastor Louis and he said that we could set up our tents on top of the hill where the Technical Center was located. When we arrived, he went as far as to open up a couple of rooms in the building that was being turned into a guesthouse so we could at least lock up our stuff and be inside. So I suppose that you can say we were the first guests in the house, though it was just a couple of empty rooms.

All of the girls set up our tents in the two rooms. The boys set up their tents in the room with the kitchen. The kitchen only had a propane tank and 3 burner cook stove. We got keys from the people working at the Technical Center so we could use the bathroom behind their doors. There was no running water, and only electricity when the Technical Center was running their generator. To get water, we had to haul buckets from the well at the very bottom of the hill, to the large barrel in the bathroom at the top of the hill. It was quite the change from our luxury stay at Pastor Louis' house.

From the top of our hill we had the best view possible. We could see the entire site at the foot of the hill. To one direction we could see the coast and an island not to far away. To the other direction the mountains and valleys were visible and breathtaking. The wind would sweep across the hilltop with a nice breeze to stifle the heat of the midday sun. It was a wonderful place to see. Nature's Air-Conditioned Orphanage.

For the past couple of weeks we've been living with the orphans of Cambry, making friends with the folks at the Technical Center (they all spoke English), and helping/learning from the construction workers who were remolding the rest of the building. We spent time in the classrooms teaching English. Pastor Louis had wanted us to sand the walls of the soon-to-be guesthouse in order to prep them for painting. That meant that we were given a box of sandpaper and put to work. It's a big building, and I've never fully appreciated and electric sander before this month in Haiti, but I think the inventor must have had to sand a building like the guesthouse. He knew there had to be an easier way. We'd visit the church on Sunday and some people attended the 4 AM prayer meetings. Most of the time we were just loving on the kids. We would worship with them in their houses with bucket drums, and aluminum plate cymbals.

The main goal of this month was to love the kids like Jesus would have loved them. We had prayed about our location and God had asked us to spend an hour in intercessory prayer for the country of Haiti every day. So, every evening after eating our dinner, we'd get together outside under the vast starry sky, and lift up some prayers for the people of Haiti. Around 9:30 PM we would all trickle off to bed.

It was a great month of ministry and of pouring ourselves out. We loved living with the orphans. It reminds me of my month in India on my World Race, except it wasn't nearly as hot in Haiti on that windy hilltop than it was in Delhi's dusty suburbs with the 115 degree heat. I had a lot more energy to play with the kids this time around.

This is basically and overview blog. Expect to see some more posts on my month in Haiti soon. I hope to write about our experience with the Christian Festival on Friday the 13th, and more specifics on the kids I fell in love with during my stay at Cambry.

Continue to lift up this squad and our ministry. We want desperately to make a difference in this world and to have God change us to be more like Him in the process. Also, pray that more support money would come in to pay for my stay on this World Race as the squad leader.

When you're a World Racer, Life is Different (Pt.2)

Fri, 6 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

(Continued from When You're a World Racer, Life is Different Pt. 1)

After two days of traveling, I was in Port Au Prince Haiti with 4 teams. We woke up early to prepare for the day. I had told the teams we would be leaving around 8:00 or 8:30 and they needed to be outside, packed and ready. After a light breakfast of bread and coffee, quiet time with Jesus, and sitting in the rocking chair on the porch, our contact was still nowhere to be seen. We had communicated our need to go to an ATM to get Haitian money and that we needed to purchase SIM cards for our cell phones to communicate with one another for the month. Two things... two very small things. But when you are a World Racer, life is different and small things aren't always that small of a task.

So after some spontaneous worship time, games of Phase 10 and Settlers of Cattan commenced outside around some tables. Doudou walked through the gate around 11:00. He said, "The buses are here, are you ready to go?" I'm sure I gave him a blank stare for a few seconds and then I finally squeezed out the words to remind him we needed to get some cash and SIM cards for the phones.

"Can you take us to the ATM, we don't have any money."

"Ummm.. . I do not think it is possible."

"What do you mean?"

"There are no ATM's working. I can not find one."

....

By this time a couple of leaders had entered the conversation. Jen Denman was looking at me with a blank stare. Emily Hunnicutt had a little smirk like she was ready for an adventure or something. I think I probably had look of shock. Surely this wasn't true. Doudou continued to tell me that there were very few ATM's in Port Au Prince and that there were no ATM's anywhere else in the country.

Awesome.

I asked if we would be able to get money inside of a bank with our debit/credit cards. His response was, "I do not think it is possible."

Perfect.

So there was a dilemma. We didn't have any Haitian money. The few ATM's in the entire country don't work, we can't use our cards to get money out through an actual bank, and nobody would exchange Dominican Pesos unless you were at the border. I wasn't going back to the border. I had finally crossed that bridge and I didn't want to do it again! While I knew that Doudou would take care of us, I also wanted to get the teams to their ministry sites and get them settled. What is a squad leader to do?

I did what every other squad leader does... I called Jimmy and Casey in the AIM office. Not only are they the World Race Staff on call 24/7, but they're two of my best friends. I'll call them! Doudou had a wireless router he can take anywhere, so I plugged into his connection, got online, sat down on the porch, and called Jimmy via Skype.

"Jimmy I have a little problem." By this point I think Jimmy must be tired of hearing from me. I had called on Sunday from Santo Domingo with a few questions. I had alerted him of our border problems on Monday, and he was probably just waiting to see what came up on Tuesday.

I explained our money situation. Jimmy and Casey, both being World Racers, thought the idea of a country without one working ATM was absurd. I used to think that. Now I know better. We talked through the problem and decided to send the team leaders out with Doudou to check and see if we couldn't convince a bank to use our debit/credit cards at a bank, or if one ATM hadn't been fixed. I stayed to talk through back-up options. The leaders left with Doudou and I sat and waited by the computer.

After an hour and a half, the leaders returned. As they walked through the gate, everybody turned to look at them expectantly. Phase 10 stopped, Rummy stopped, and Settlers of Cattan stopped. I knew when they threw their hands up in the air that they didn't have any money. So I returned my attention to the computer, now baking in the midday sunshine.

I explained to Jimmy that the leaders had visited several banks, and the ATM's, and they had nothing to show for it. Doudou was right. The bus drivers were still waiting outside. The racers were sitting around wondering what in the world happened to "We're leaving around 8:00 or 8:30." We started talking through the process of getting money sent via Western Union. By this point it was 2:00 in the afternoon. The Western Union office closed at 4:00 and we were already way behind schedule for our departure and arrival. Jimmy went to work fast to get a check cut, the check cashed at the bank, and the money sent at the local grocery store in Gainesville, GA. The leaders and I sat around the computer waiting for the message from Casey that Jimmy had successfully sent the money through the wire. Doudou left to run his own errands and gain some sanity I think.

At 3:15 Casey sent the message, "The money is already there, go and pick it up!" We called Doudou and aksed him to return. At 3:30 we bolted out the gate and rushed into town to the Western Union office. Jen Denman and I talked with the lady to receive the money Jimmy had sent. We gave our confirmation numbers, our passports for identification, and then the lady asked, "What telephone number for James McCarty?" Humm. She's asked a good question. The Lord brought to my mind that I had saved all my Outlook contacts onto my iPod. I pulled it out of my purse and looked up Jimmy's number. It was not the same number as the one in the Western Union computer system. A man had came over by this point and said we could use the phone to call.

"Jimmy... you there? What telephone number did you give them?"

"I gave them my cell phone number it's..."

"No you didn't. I gave them that number and it's not the right number."

"Oh, I gave them the office number."

"Perfect... thanks."

With that said, Jen and I were back at the counter trying to receive the money. "That is the correct number. Do you want USD or Haitian?"

There was pure elation as the lady began counting the money. Emily and Benny had come along for the trip and while we were getting the money, they had found a lady that sold SIM cards. They began that process, and before we left the Western Union office we had money and working cell phones.

We went back to the hotel parking lot, grabbed everyone, and loaded up the buses. The leaders divided the money up between the teams. I emailed Jimmy and Casey to let them know we had received the cash and were on our way to our ministry sites. We had originally planned on leaving at 8:30 in the morning, but it was now 5:30 in the evening. What at day!

The bus drivers were excited to see us moving! I hopped in the giagantic bus with Team Manna and we were on our way out of Port Au Prince to Les Cayes. It was supposed to be a 3 hour drive. But when you are a World Racer, life is different.

After riding the bus through the busy city we started flying through the country. The bus doesn't have any shocks at all. The roads in Haiti are horrible. So when you add the two together, you get sore butts and sore heads from bouncing from the seat to the ceiling every other minute. I have a fun video to show you just how bumpy the road got at one point, but you'll have to wait until I have a faster internet connection to see it!

At 10:30 we pulled into Pastor Louis' house and the ministry center. They carried our stuff upstairs, and directed us to our rooms. YEAH! Rooms! We opened the door and a breath of fresh air overtook us. Air Conditioning... you have got to be kidding me! We walked in to see a bed for each person with a fresh, soft towel and a take-out dinner sitting on the pillow. There was a platter of cups and juice in the corner and a chair with toilet paper rolls in the other. Down the hall we had flushing toilets, and working hot showers.

For a minute I couldn't believe that the country without ATM's could look and feel this good! It was a great way to end the crazy and adventurous trip from the Dominican Republic to Haiti. God surely provided and showed up in each situation, even if it was at the last minute. He gets the glory for bringing us through. No matter how much planning and preparing I did on the front-end, God gets full credit for making it work. Planning means diddly squat out here sometimes because when you're a World Racer, life is different.

When you're a World Racer, Life is Different (Pt. 1)

Thu, 5 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here's the story of the 3 Day trip to Haiti....yep... 3 days...

You wouldn't think that it would take 3 days to drive across the tiny island of Hispaniola. Getting from the Dominican Republic to Haiti isn't exactly like driving across the United States or anything. But when you are a World Racer, life is different. It takes 3 full and adventurous days. Here's the story...

After a great debrief with the teams in San Juan, Jenny and I were trying to prepare the teams to make the transition to Haiti. Because we have a group of 54 people, we had to work some things out in advance. The bus company only sends one bus a day from the capitol of Santo Domingo to Port Au Prince Haiti. We would just about fill up the entire bus with the number of people in our group so we had to purchase tickets in advance. After getting Anna Coffey to ask the lady at the bus company all my questions over the phone, we were pretty sure we had tickets for everyone and that they were in our price range. The bus to Haiti leaves at 11:00 AM and because we were in San Juan, 3 or 4 hours away from Santo Domingo, we couldn't make both trips in the same day. We were going to have to spend the night in Santo Domingo and Jimmy had arranged for us to stay at another mission's base in town. We had the teams compete in their very first Race while they spent the day in Santo Domingo to kill some time and see the sites. Our contacts in Haiti were aware of our arrival and we all had arrangements to get to our ministry sites. Sounds like it's all under control right? Again, when you are a World Racer, life is different.

Jenny and I told the teams they had to get up at 4:45 AM to get out of the house in San Juan, finish cleaning it, and lock it up. We were going to leave at 6:00 AM for Santo Domingo. While they were cleaning, we took off to the bus station in San Juan to get our tickets on the first bus out of town. We had already arranged with Dave Brown and the team leaders to announce the first Race Day and let the teams loose at 6:00 AM. We waited a long time for the bus station to open up and just as we got our tickets, some of the teams arrived to buy their own tickets. Most of the teams were on the same bus as we traveled to Santo Domingo. When Jenny Brown and I arrived, we went to pick up our tickets to Haiti. We sat in the office for almost 2 hours while the one lady that was working that morning wrote each individual ticket out by hand... round-trip.

After securing our tickets to Haiti, we took off to the missions base to drop our luggage off and have a good Squad Leader day out. We found a very "western" grocery store, ate at Burger King, and traveled to a mall with a movie theater. All the stores in the mall were closed, but they were going to show a movie in English at 4:20, so we decided to sit down in the food court and wait. And we waited... a long time. Maybe we were just shell-shocked and tired from a busy month of ministry and a good, but fast-paced debrief because we sat at that table all day long. In retrospect, I think we are still trying to figure out what we were thinking. We texted back and forth with the teams, and caught our movie that afternoon. We returned to the missions base, had some worship time, and went to bed. I was catching a cold and had a head the size of bowling ball.

Early the next morning, we got up, packed again, and departed in heavy Monday morning traffic for the bus station. Once everyone's taxi arrived, we collected passports, and went to the bus company office again. We were told to be at the station two hours before our departure. We spent an hour finalizing our tickets and paying our border fees and taxes. We loaded onto our super nice bus with reclining seats, stewardess, cold drinks, and lunch. There was one other guy on our bus. Poor guy. If he had only known what he was getting himself into.

Everything was going great as we went back across the Dominican Republic. We came within an hour of San Juan, but since you can't catch the bus to Haiti any place but the capitol, we had to go a little out of way. This little glitch would account for an entire day of travel. Awesome.

As the afternoon wore on, the scenery and culture started to shift slightly, and before we knew it, we were at the border. We pulled up to the border, looking out the window at the obvious differences from one side to the other. The mix of people and cultures in "no-man's land" was intense. We stopped and our stewardess got off to process our passports and get us officially checked out of the Dominican Republic. We waited.... And waited... And waited.

After a while the bus driver got involved, the stewardess was talking fast, and Rocio (another Spanish-speaker) asked what was going on. The driver told us that they didn't want to let us across the border because there was a "protest". We asked some questions and found out that it was a protest against the bus company, and while we were safe, they didn't want us to cross the border. The driver and stewardess were trying to work out the details. Jenny Brown and I looked at each other, "Really? Is this going to happen?" I told the racers to start praying, I didn't want to take the bus back to Santo Domingo just so we could "try" to cross the border again the next day. I called Jimmy and Casey in the office because it was cheap to call the US on my cell phone. I told them we were fine, but we needed prayer to get through to Haiti. We sat and waited by the border for 2 and a half hours.

After singing, praying, and believing God would bring us through to the promised land of Haiti, the bus driver got back on to tell us that they were going to let us through! We were very excited! We pulled in, got off the bus to officially get stamped out of the Dominican Republic, got on the bus, drove about a mile down the road, exited the bus again, got officially stamped into Haiti, and got back on the bus. We were finally back on the road and headed to Port Au Prince. Apparently the bus company had sent two buses to Haiti that day, one for all of us, and the other for the regular customers. They had been required by law to only send one per day, so when two buses showed up, it caused a commotion. There wasn't a protest, more of a "dispute." 3rd world communication is my favorite.

It was dark when we arrived in the capitol. People lined the streets on both sides, and brightly colored buses honked and swerved by us on either side. Street Vendors sat all along the road and intersections with candles lit to show off their merchandise. We weren't in the Dominican anymore.

Our bus pulled into the station behind a locked gate and high walls. When we exited the bus, some of the team leaders got connected with their contacts. Gentle Warriors and Spectacle took off to Jacmel for their month of ministry. Koinonia and BLING met up with a friend of Liz's that has a ministry in Canaan. Tikvah, Luminous, Indelible, and Manna were going to meet a guy named DouDou and spend the night in Port Au Prince before leaving for their ministry sites the next morning. Jenny Brown took off with the teams to Canaan and I was left with the teams in Port Au Prince.

Doudou showed up and put everyone and their luggage on a bus to go across town. We pulled into another walled and gated complex. It was a hotel/guest house that we would be camping out at for the night. We had three rooms, and the parking area. After a late night dinner, we crashed from our busy two days of traveling. The team leaders and I went to bed thinking that there were only two tasks we had to complete in the morning, and they we could get on our buses to the two separate ministry sites. But when you are a World Racer, life is different.

(To Be Continued.....)

See What its like to live with us!

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hey Guys, sorry I havent gotten a blog up in a little bit, but Ive been busy preparing the squad to move to Haiti at the end of this week. We are currently awaiting the arrival of the 3 teams that had ministry in other locations. Tomorrow, Jenny Brown and I will lead the squad in their first month debrief! Please be praying as we say goodbye to the Dominican Republic and as we prepare for next month in Haiti. We leave from Santo Dominigo on February 2nd.

Thanks for all your support and prayers. Watch the video below that Di Dinnis made of our living arrangments here in San Juan. Yours Truly makes an appearance! Love to you all!

Living in San Juan

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This month I'm spending time with 5 teams in San Juan as they do various ministries around town. Team BLING is working in our immediate neighborhood doing VBS, meeting and taking care of elderly neighbors, and working in a nursing home a couple of times a week. Luminous is working with a local pastor whose church is just outside of town. They are helping with projects, going door-to-door, and serving in the church. Both Koinonia and Spectacle are ministering in the poverty-stricken areas on the outskirts of town. They are going door-to-door, building relationships, and serving in the many church services. Tikvah takes a long walk outside of town to a small farming village everyday to build relationships, help out on the farm, finish some of the building projects from the summer teams that went through, and love on the people.

While I'm here in San Juan I get to go out with these teams to some of their ministries. Last week I went to the nursing home with Team BLING and yesterday went out to minister to some of the families that Spectacle has met over the past two weeks. I'm excited to go to some church services over the weekend because last weekend I was sick and couldn't really leave the house.

From what I've seen of the Dominican people so far, I love their hospitatility and hearts. They are very warm and inviting and the children long for your love and attention. It's amazing that God has entrusted us with the task of bringing the Gospel to the people of San Juan. We are taking the responsibility seriously and are trying to be good stewards of our gifts and talents to bring His Kingdom to this part of the world.

Still, one of my main responsibilities is to the squad. Every evening and afternoon as teams return from their ministries I have the opportunity to meet with people and see how they are adjusting to life on The World Race. Slowing down our busy minds and constant "strive and work for the American Dream" pace is hard in a culture that would put off their to-do list for tomorrow for the chance to have a good conversation with a friend today. I get to debrief their experiences and ask, "Okay, so you saw this happen today and you felt like this. What does that mean for your life... now and every day?"

It's only the end of the 2nd week and some of these racers are catching glimpses of what this year will be for their life and ministry. I come alive as I watch them grow through these experiences. That's my ministry here in San Juan.

As a squad leader, I'm also raising support to be out on the field ministering alongside of and to the teams. To date, I'm not very close to my support goal of $4000. Please consider supporting my ministry on The World Race. To donate, just click the "Support Me!" link on the left hand side of this page. Please prayerfully consider joining my support team long-term as I know that serving with the World Race and on staff is my calling for the next while. I'd love to have monthly supporters for the journey ahead. Thanks to everyone who has given so far and believes in my calling to this ministry. Without you guys, this isn't possible.

The Arrival....

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I left on January 2nd with Jimmy for the Dominican Republic. We left early... like 4:45 AM early and I hadn't slept at all because I'm the World Race packing coach and thought I didn't need that long to pack. Pride comes before a fall right.

We arrived safely in Santo Domingo that afternoon and took a taxi to the bus station in town. 40 Minute Taxi ride approx. $40. 4 Hour bus ride (charter bus with reclining seats, tv, and air conditioning) approx. $7. Tell me they aren't ripping the tourists off! Late that evening we arrived in San Juan La Manguana, near the mountains in the inner part of the DR. That's right, we are a few hours away from the beach. Jimmy and I got off the bus to meet Miguel, another AIM Staff member whose long term ministry is here in San Juan. After a few tacos and details, we went to bed. I was exhausted.

On Saturday I took to the streets with Sylvia, one of the translators to get some details sorted for the teams arrival the next day. Jimmy, Miguel, and Ronnie stayed behind to get the house and apartment we would be staying in ready for the team.

The fun really started on Sunday... I got up expecting to leave around 10:15 to catch one of the 3 buses we had rented to pick up the team at the airport. During our breakfast meeting, Ronnie my partner in Operation: Retrieve Squad, got a phone call. After he spoke his hurried Spanish and got off the phone, he looked at me and said, "Are you ready to go? That was the bus driver. He said that there are many people in line and if we don't get there soon, there may not be room on the buses to get to Santo Domingo."

I was a little confused. Then I remembered that I wasn't in the US. I wasn't renting a bus, riding it all alone for 4 hours to pick up my team, and come comfortably back home. This was the DR. They were hauling passengers all the way there... and anybody and everybody was welcome.

After going to the wrong bus station first, and then running through the streets to the right bus station, we hopped on the last bus... the empty one. As the bus in front of us pulled out of the station, we took our place at the front of the line. A guy got on to check things out. I recognized this role... He's a porter. On buses all around the world, a porter's job is to get as many people crammed into the vehicle as possible. I quickly re-organized my thoughts, and thought through the journey. I didn't want to sit in the seat I was currently in. I noticed the fold-down jump seat beside me. "Nope... Don't want to be that close to somebody I don't know.... Window seats are nice. Can I feel the air conditioning if I sit there? What is the leg room like?" These are the moments when it's good to have World Race experience. I switched to a window seat right beside the door with plenty of leg room.

Just as I sat down and got situated, the doors opened, the porter stepped in the door and shouted for everyone to pile on. After the initial shoving match, with bows flying left and right, there were still plenty of seats available. So we sat for a long time while more passengers were called on. The little cushioned boards that connect the left and right rows and create extra seating were brought out. Luggage and sacks were pushed up under seats and legs. Children moved to laps.... And still more people got on. Before the doors were closed there were 7 people in my row... 4 adults and 3 kids. It was intense. I knew I wasn't going to move an inch for the next 4 hours. I just put in my iPod and praised the Lord all the way to the airport.

When Ronnie and I arrived, we had only been inside the airport for 5 minutes when the first group came out the doors. They looked elated to see us. The group had to split up in Miami because we couldn't get all 53 people on the same flight. The next group arrived about an hour later. When it was all said and done I was only missing one backpack and one racer. Ashley Harris' bag hadn't even made it to Miami from her original destination yet, and Rachel Hartman had been caught behind snow and ice and her flight was delayed. It's a good thing I know people in the office! Casey was already working on getting Rachel in the next day with the Coaches, and we were tracking down Ashley's bag.

After another 4 hour bus ride back to San Juan, we piled into our big house for a dinner of chicken, boiled plantains, and yucca. Most people went straight to sleep. I laid down on my bed and thought... It has begun. *Gulp*

Taking On The Challenge...

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

After 3 years... I find myself on The World Race again. Before I left this time, I mentioned how I was at a loss to describe my feelings for how this trip and experience has grown since that First World Race. Now that I'm in the Dominican Republic with my squad, I still have no words. It's not a trip anymore. It's not a pioneer project. This is a proven process that works to transform a generation into sold out disciples of the King that live a lifestyle of spirit-led ministry and passionate worship of the Father.

My eyes see the new and remember the old. I've never been to the Dominican Republic before, but I've been here. I've been to the place where you encounter God amidst a people longing for hope. So many faces flash in my eyes as I look at the children here. I remember the kids at the camp in Bosnia... the kids in the slums in Africa... the street kids in India. I remember what God did in Ivana's life at that summer camp, and children from the orphanage partnering with us to put on an outreach in Kenya, and I remember being led into the throne room of the King when the kids in India sang. I see these kids with those eyes and know what God can and will do these next few months. He's using this generation to show the love of the King to the nations. The generation that says yes to this call will go forth and do mighty things by His power and His leading. This is the generation. I'm a part of the generation that says YES!

My squad says yes. I watched this week at Launch Training as 54 people worshiped and allowed God to work in their hearts in preparation for going to the nations with the Gospel. I see hands lifted high. I see people dancing, abandoned for the Father. I see a room of people breaking chains that have held them down for far too long.

I love being a part of this. Each day I get to hear stories of what God is doing in their hearts as they go out to their ministries, pray for their teammates, and live in a different culture. I get to hear what's been tough and give encouragement and prayer. When it gets to the point where they have to choose brokenness I get to tell them what it's like on the other side. Who wouldn't love this job!?

I know one thing is certain... my heart has already been broken. My heart has been broken for the 52 Racers on this January 2009 squad. I want them to see the world they are traveling with Jesus' eyes and with an open heart. I believe it's going to happen. I know it's going to happen.

So here I go again. I leave with a new perspective and a belief that this is the generation that will give everything to God to see Him come and move in every street, every barrio, every slum, every metropolis, every village, every nation. I didn't know that was what this was all about when I left the first time in 2006. Now I know. J

It's Hard to Say Goodbye...

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The first time I left for the World Race it was easy. This time it's been a little more difficult. Before I start hurting feelings or anything, let me explain.

Last time I was living at home and working as a 3rd shift cashier at Walmart. Wow. Exciting. I really love my family. I have the cutest niece and nephew in the whole world and my favorite title is Aunt Ashley by far. But life is more than pulling all-nighters at a cash register. When the support came in for that trip, at the last minute... I just powered through and left in a flash. I remember sitting at the airport in Atlanta on my way to Brownsville, Texas and having the reality of life set in for the first time. I was leaving for an indefinite amount of time to travel to destinations unknown with people I barely knew. It was exciting!

Fast forward almost three years and I'm about to leave for 3 months, travel to several new places in the Caribbean and southeast Asia, and I'm going with 53 unique individuals that I've started bonding with in the past few months. It's still exciting.

The difference is what I'm leaving behind. For the past year I've been living in Georgia and working at AIM with my closest friends. It's real community. We have dinners together, carpool to work, hang out and play games by the fireplace, and pray and worship together. I already have what people go on the World Race to find.

There have been a few instances this year where one of us will take off for some reason. Maybe it's a mission trip, maybe it's for a visit with family, or maybe it's for an evening out with "other friends." There's then a hole at the dinner table. There is one less player for "Settlers of Catan." There is a part of our body that's missing. None of us are big fans of those feelings.

I've grown in my walk with the Lord this year because of my community. I have learned what it means to be okay with not being okay. I have people around me that love me no matter what. Sometimes I can be a jerk...especially when we play games. They call me out on my foolishness and love me anyway. They even let me come back and play the next night. I never have to walk very far to find somebody who wants to pray with me. Any by pray I mean the kind of prayers where they sit down and listen to the Lord and pray about stuff that I haven't even mentioned to anybody yet. When I don't feel well I don't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. I just get to sit back and enjoy the chocolate milk somebody dropped off - one of those comforts they know I like.

Basically I'm more like Jesus because of my community... my friends who live like Him and help me to do the same.

So even though I'm full of excitement to lead this squad, totally ready to be used by God in the nations, and stoked for the adventures ahead.... I'm sad.

This time following and obeying will cost something.

In the end, it's worth it. I'm probably set up to grow and learn even more this time around because of the cost. My friends that I am leaving behind are the kind of friends that love me more because I'm willing to leave. They are the kind of friends that even though it's hard for them to say goodbye too, wouldn't show their sadness because they wouldn't want to make me think they weren't supportive.

This is a transition for me. It's a transition for my friends I leave behind. Maybe this all sounds silly to some of you... I'm only leaving for a few months... but my community here is the kind of stuff Jesus talked about. Life will be a little different as I get ready to leave and we all process how to say goodbye and keep in touch. It'll be a little different when I'm out there pouring all I've got into that team and can't come home to debrief with my best friends. It'll be different when I get back and have missed out on what God has done in their lives and ministries.

It's a time of transition.

Michael Hindes, the director of The World Race, talks about transition a lot. He likes to talk about Samuel getting a coat that was too big for him and having to grow into that coat. Just as you grow into the coat you get a bigger one and the process starts all over again. (You'll have to see Michael for all the detailed notes.) I'm about to step into a bigger coat. I don't want to pull a Chris Farely and be a big fat guy in a little coat.

What a wide range of emotions... It came down to deciding and believing that God has more. There is more depth to Him, more depth to the Body of Christ, and more depth to the Kingdom that I have yet to discover.

Stepping into a bigger coat is the only way I get to step into what is deeper. I'm so ready for that. I think we all are.

So thanks friends for supporting me and loving me. I look forward to what God does in these next few months. I have a feeling it's much more than we can imagine. Now that's exciting!

This Crazy Life Continues On...

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

2008 has been an exciting year! I've spent this past year working in the AIM office for The World Race. It's so interesting to watch this program grow. I mean.... I was at the beginning of this crazy thing.

I remember walking into the Christian book store to get a copy of Relevant Magazine back in March. The World Race had a featured article in that issue. I grabbed a copy, picked it up, looked at the cover, and this weight just kind of settled in my gut.

There it was...on the bottom corner of the cover, "The World Race."

Wow.

I did that. I did that with the first group of crazy people to go out. This huge thing that is now in Relevant Magazine... yeah... I'm a part of that. It's almost too big to grasp, and yet we sit around the office and seriously discuss getting 1,000 racers out in a year. Now that would be big, and the more we tweak this thing, and seek the Father's heart, the more I believe it's going to happen.

I love being a part of The World Race. It's bigger than me. It's about the Kingdom of God. People's lives are getting changed as they seek to change the lives of people all around the world. I get to interview people and hear what makes their heart beat and why they would want to abandon everything to go around the world for a year, sleeping in the dirt, eating rice every day, and seeing firsthand the poverty and pain of humankind.

After talking with folks in their interviews, they come to training camp and I start building relationships with them. Pretty soon they are off on the World Race. I've had the opportunity to go to 2 Launches, the first week of the World Race. This year I went with the July 2008 team to Palenque Mexico and the October 2008 team to Manila Philippines.

When I've been out there with these I've gotten to do a wide assortment of "training." I took a bunch of girls down to the shower area in Mexico and showed them how to wash their clothes in a bucket. They later posted a video of their laundry experience... I don't think they were listening. : ) One afternoon I took a group of girls upstairs and led them in an intense prayer time over one another where we intentionally listened to the Lord to encourage each other. Afterwards, we went into town and I showed them what it looked like to prayer walk and listen to the Holy Spirit's leadings as you ministered in town without a specific plan of action. I absolutely loved it.

For me, nothing beats the feeling of watching somebody else realize what all they are cabable of and equipped to do through the power of God. We all want to do "good things" and serve and love and make a difference. God's blessed me with the opportunity to watch these World Racers understand that they are more than able to do what is in their heart to do. I love my life!

So I tell you what I love about my job and what I love about where God is leading me because I'm doing something else a little wild and crazy. I'm going to be the squad leader for the January 2009 World Race team. I'm co-leading with Jenny Brown, another alumnus who went on the June 2007 trip. We're going to take 8 teams, 53 people, around the world to fully realize who they are in Christ, what the Kingdom of God is really about, and their role in the Kingdom.

It's heavy at times. Taking that kind of responsibility for people just in dealing with details and safety is huge, let alone taking on the spiritual responsibility and stewardship. It's heavy at times but God reminds me that the racers are already equipped to make a difference in the world and I'm already equipped for this role as a Squad Leader. Praise God for His Spirit inside of me! Phew!

Wow... The World Race again. I'm going to travel with the team for the first three months of their journey and then meet up with them a few times during the year for debriefs. So while I won't be sleeping on the floor for another 11 months, I'm fully embracing this squad as my family for the next year. These are my peeps. We are on a journey.

I'm going to need people to support me in this endeavor. I need people to pray for me like crazy as I lead this team and travel to places I've never been before. I need people to support me financially. For the first part of this journey I need to raise $4,000. This will cover all my travel and living expenses for 3 months. Please pray about joining me in this ministry both with prayer and financial gifts. With your financial support I can go out and lead 53 people to feed orphans and widows, clear up the devastation of hurricanes in Haiti, rescue and bring hope to girls trapped in the sex industry in Southeast Asia. You aren't just investing in a travel experience... you are investing in the lives of 53 people who are going to change the world with the love and hope of Christ. It's incredible that God uses us to do this stuff. He can use you even if you can't leave the country by praying and giving.

To partner with me financially you can donate through this blog. Just look to the left and click on "Support Me." You can even set up the donation to automatically happen every month for a specific amount. If 50 people could give $20 a month from December to March, I would be fully funded. Can you be one of those 50 people?

If you aren't comfortable giving online, you can mail a check. Just put "Appealed By - Ashley Musick" in the memo line and send it to Adventures in Missions P.O. Box 534470 Atlanta, GA 30353-4470. To donate online with debit or credit card, click here. SUPPORT ME!

This is exciting. Being a part of this is incredible. Thanks so much for joining me. Expect to hear some pretty awesome stories from the next few months of God's provision and some radical World Racers coming alive in their identity in Christ. I LOVE IT! The H-Squad is ready to bring heaven to earth!

Now I Know - Processing My World Race Journey (Pt. 1)

Wed, 3 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

What is going on with Ashley Musick these days? I suppose a lot of people have been wondering. It's been a long time since I have blogged. Still... this isn't one of those update blogs that really only gives you the highlights. It's been two and a half years since I started the World Race, and I'm just now processing parts of the journey. So, here is my heart. It's raw. It's vulnerable. This has been my life for the past three years. This is my World Race journey. This is how God has been at work. Hopefully at the end you can san say, "Now I know." That's where I'm at.

Let's go back to the summer of 2005. I had led an Ambassador Trip with AIM to India. I was already signed up for the very first World Race. I was fresh from graduating with honors at Emmanuel College and I was ready to change the world. I felt empowered and equipped and couldn't wait to see what God was doing all over the world and join in on some big part of the plan. That's when it happened. Something snapped. All the way through the World Race, my time at home and at K-mart, and even this past year at AIM, I've been different. I have lived like a completely different person than the empowered, equipped, and eager college graduate. I've spent the last year realizing this and trying to answer the question, "Why?"

If I were going to be open and honest, and I feel God has been stressing that I need to do that more often, I would say that I have been passionless...wimpy...faithless... and hopeless for the past few years. I lacked the confidence in me that was necessary to accomplish just about anything. I didn't start to recognize this until probably one year ago (Sept. '07). I've tried to trace it back and knew sometime after August of 2005 when I led that India team...something caused this to happen.

Why? How? What? This week I got my answer and I want to share it with you.

Wow. Now I know.

This change in my life, whether you've been around to see it or not, or if I've bothered to let you in on it, has all been caused by one thing. Expectations.

I had all the faith, courage, passion, and abilities to do whatever I wanted after college. I FOUND a piece of my purpose leading that India team and I came ALIVE. I went home and I planned to go on the World Race. I lived with my mom and dad. In between preparing to go on The World Race and actually getting to the airport, I had to get a job. I landed a crummy 3rd shift job at Wal-Mart. It wasn't exactly where I pictured a college graduate who was passionate about serving people and the Lord spending their time. My preconceived notions of what a college ministry graduate, leader, and missionary were supposed to be didn't quite add up to the reality of my life. This wasn't where I had planned or expected to be after college.

I still remember the day I put on the Wal-Mart smock for the first time. "How May I Help You," was written in big letters on the back. It was like a brick was laid in place... in the path to the future I expected to have. It was the first of many. The load and burden seemed to get a little heavier each time I went to work. It was hard not to feel like a failure when your friends from high school came through your checkout line. Humbling... that's what they call it when a 4.0 honor graduate has to look in the eyes of their classmates from behind a cash register. The expectations I had for myself were different. I didn't seem to be measuring up. Support raising for the World Race wasn't going so well and around the holidays, just before the start of the trip, I had almost given up.

God heard my plea for mercy and on January 1st I saw a glimmer of hope. The World Race was still a possibility. Some money had come in at the last minute. This was my chance to finally get back on track! I thought that through this trip I could validate myself - my degree - everything I expected of myself might be attainable by going on this trip. I had been a crummy, purposeless person at Walmart, but I might be able to earnthe right to be used for the Kingdom again if I went on The World Race. Those thoughts just set up the expectation that I could get past any personal failures I had made so far by going out and "doing" something for the Lord.

On January 7th, 2006 - I started doing. I eased back into ministry and missions during month #1 in Mexico. I just went along with everyone else and enjoyed the ride. By the time we got to Guatemala I had found my stride. I even tried to step it up a notch. I was pushing so hard that I started to meet resistance from my teammates. They felt that they were "doing" enough and I just wasn't content with that the few empty holes in our daily schedule. I remember the team meeting where I cried in frustration. Back then I'm not sure I knew why I was crying. Now I know. Expectations.

And so the failures continued. I couldn't "do" enough in ministry. I couldn't keep my team or squad focused and unified. I immediately took a step back for fear of failing even more.

No responsibilities = no failures.

My faith and courage began to falter and I tried to cling to what was left.

Month #3 in China sucked. It wasn't just the fact that it was cold, the culture was completely different, or I had a terrible cough... I had given up on "doing more" for the Lord to "earn" my way back to where I was supposed to be because it wasn't working.

In month #4 we went to Thailand. I just coasted through. I sat back and watched others struggle with some unmet expectations with AIM, their World Race experience, ministry opportunities, and ministry contacts. That wasn't me though. I wasn't worried about what I expected of others or my experience. I was totally concerned with what I expected of myself and I just couldn't seem to make the cut.

In May I continued to coast through. I admitted defeat. I wasn't all I was cracked up to be. Satan saw his opportunity and took it a step further. The "what-if" expectations began. "What if I fail this person or ministry? What if I fail my supporters? My team?" I played it safe so I wouldn't screw up even more. I put up a great faade of humor and smiles. On the inside, the heavy bricks of expectations built up a wall that towered so high I couldn't connect with the expectancy and hope I had once had for my future.

In June 2006 I started seeking the Lord's face because I knew something was different. Something that wasn't good was slowly developing in my heart and I couldn't pin point exactly what it was. I didn't look forward. I looked back to the past. As I was looking back on things in my life, I didn't get a hope for the future. I saw my failures and the need to do better. So I came out of that month and chose to settle for something less than I expected so the disappointment didn't hurt so bad.

Month #7 in Bosnia was a month of separation. If other people weren't close enough to see me, then they wouldn't see me fail. I wouldn't fall short of meeting my expectations or anybody else's if I stayed out of sight and out of mind. I spent my time loving a little girl named Ivana. It was a victory for the Kingdom, but I had to stay on the dock as she got on the ferry to leave camp. The spark in my heart slowly faded away.

By August I was fed up. In Turkey and Egypt I started to take some risks with my life and ministry. I stepped out even though there was the possibility of failure. I guess I figured there wasn't much to lose at this point. Why not? In Kenya and South Africa I put forth an effort. I finished "strong." By this I mean it was better than the middle that sucked and was lazy and effortless and better than the beginning that was maimed and forgotten after the horrible middle.

I had settled and I knew it. Every once in a while I did a good thing. There were small successes along the way. Still, I knew there was more in me. I had more to offer. It's just that the full picture was all hazy and blocked out. By the end of the final debrief "pep talks," I gave my ceremonious leap off the edge. I believed that after all of this I was probably ready for the uncertainties that loomed in my future. While I hadn't quite lived up to my expectations, there was the possibility that I had something to offer the great big world and all its problems. I had at least seen them face-to-face over the year. Certainly the wall of expectations couldn't get bigger. I dared to dream those last couple of weeks on The World Race. I didn't see Satan lurking around the corner waiting to shut me down completely. Now I know.

Continued in "Now I Know - Life After The Race"

Now I Know - Life After The Race (Pt. 2)

Wed, 3 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Continued from "Now I Know - Processing My World Race Journey"

After the World Race, I made it home just in time for the holidays. As I told my stories I felt the need to sugarcoat stuff. I told people that it was "hard" and I had learned and seen "a whole lot." I wasn't ready for more expectations. Inside I thought I had the truth of what my year really looked like and it was hard to face the future of somebody who had "been there and done that,"... the life of somebody who had "experienced more in one year than most people experience in a life-time." What tiny hopes and dreams I had come home with were crushed as I faced the expectations of a World Race Alumni. You were supposed to move on to bigger and better opportunities and I had failed miserably at the first attempt. These expectations didn't come from friends or family... these were my perceptions. It was my false reality. They were the lies of Satan all rolled into one obliterating punch. Back then I didn't know or see the enemy at work. Now I know.

I didn't know what to do. While I couldn't admit it to anyone, I felt like a huge failure. I didn't want to let people in on the secret if they didn't already know! In trying to make plans for my life I asked, "What could somebody like me do? I've not really succeeded yet." As I sat around and pondered that, the pressure came. It really wasn't meant in a condemning way, but I received it that way. People would say, "What are you going to do now Ashley? What is the plan?" I can still feel the cringe in the bottom of my spine when I think back to the first months of 2007 when everybody kept asking me these questions. I got defensive.

"I DON'T KNOW! Back off. I've just traveled the world... I don't have to decide today."

It wasn't long before my calendar and my checkbook didn't quite match up and I had to make a decision. I barely had the confidence to accept the position of Customer Service Supervisor at K-Mart. I was seriously at a low and just tried to hide it behind what pride I had left. I'm not sure who bought it. Through all of this Satan started planting the lies that my failures were bad marks against me in the Lord's eyes, not just in the eyes of others or myself.

I actually felt like I was failing to meet the expectations of God. My quiet times with the Lord became shorter and less frequent. I didn't want to face Him and feel the shame. My job kept me out of church often. There wasn't any nourishment; there was nothing to keep me going. I didn't know how lost I really was. Now I know.

In February of 2007, I started working at K-Mart. It was supposed to be a temporary thing until I "heard from God" about my future direction. I had lost all expectancy and hope for a purposeful and fruitful life and ministry. I didn't hang out with people... talk to people... try to claw my way out of the hole. I just flat-lined. Now you might start to believe that I was depressed, but I don't think that was my problem. Somewhere in my mind and heart I had decided that it was okay. I kept rationalizing my situation and telling myself that it was "just for now," and that "a door would open." I wasn't depressed. I was just convinced that all of Satan's lies were true.

One thing that I didn't expect was that everyone would see through my charade. My parents were obviously concerned. My teammates began to wonder just how primitive West Virginia really was because I had stayed in contact with people better when I was in the middle of Africa! Alli Mellon, an AIM Staff member who had been in charge of the leaders when I went to India in the summer of 2005, was apparently concerned and praying for me as well. She had seen me at the height of my purpose when I was filled with expectancy. She saw me at the start of the race in Mexico when I was gearing up to earn my status and identity. She met us in India during the middle of the race when I was just coasting through. She heard the stories about me that didn't match up with what she knew to be true about me. The whole time I thought my failures were obvious and discredited me in some way. Surely nobody expected much from me anymore. What a bunch of lies! Now I know.

I suppose Satan thought he had me. I was bound up in all my expectations and fears or failure. Praise the Lord for his love and redemption.

Continued in "Now I Know - Getting Unstuck"

Now I Know - Getting Unstuck (Pt. 3)

Wed, 3 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Continued from "Now I Know - Life After The Race"

So, fast-track through 7 months of HELL working at Kmart. I'm getting ready for my 1pm - 10pm shift on Saturday. I'm expecting it to totally suck. I'm expecting I'll cry. I'm expecting there is nothing I can do about it.

I didn't expect the phone to ring. I didn't expect Laura, my fellow World Race teammate, to be on the phone. She was working with AIM and the World Race and probably because of my very sporadic and pleading emails, reached out a helping hand. I'll be eternally grateful for that phone call. She said I could come and work in the office for the World Race for a while. They really needed some office help and they needed it fast. She asked if I could come in a week. She prayed for me that day and I cried on the telephone. That was the first time that I had cried with tears of hope in a really long time. God must love me a whole lot to reach down and hold me in that moment. He gave me a ray of hope. On the way to work that day I dared to hope and dream that my life wasn't just Kmart. Maybe it could be a little more. Now I know.

By the next day I had decided to take a leap of faith. I was quitting and moving to Georgia without much of a plan. I didn't really have a place to stay or the specifics on what my job was supposed to be. Laura told me about a friend of hers that I had met in Kenya randomly. She had just moved to Gainesville and was looking for a roommate and I might possibly be able to live with her. Laura seemed to think we would be good friends. I barely remembered meeting Kayla Phillips when I was in Kenya, but here I was talking to her on the phone about getting an apartment in Georgia. I arrived in town a week later on Thursday afternoon. I met Kayla in town and we looked at a couple of apartments and talked about commitments and year-long leases. It had been one heck of a stretching week, so those first few hours and big discussions really put me over the edge. It was more than I could handle and as I was sitting in Kayla's car, waiting for the lady to show us another apartment, I just got overwhelmed and starting crying.

All the lies, all the failures, all the fears... they came in a rush in that one instance. What was I thinking! Why did I pack up and leave and come to Georgia without a plan? Now my failures wouldn't just affect me, they would affect this girl too. The consequences of failing this endeavor were too much. Kayla must have been watching me hold all those emotions deep inside because she asked me if I wanted to pray. I couldn't even speak. I just nodded my head. She prayed and I cried. There was an awkward pause in between her finishing her prayer and the moment when I was supposed to start. I didn't want to open my mouth for fear of letting all sorts of pent up emotions out in this stranger's car. Still yet, her prayer calmed me. I felt a peace that had to have come from the Holy Spirit. I regained my composure and probably left Kayla with an interesting first impression.

The next day I started my new job... on the first day of World Race training camp. I signed a lease on my first apartment with a girl I had met the day before. Kayla probably didn't know what she was getting into. Neither did I. Now I know.

After the initial shock of my rash move, I started to settle into my new life. It was great. I moved slowly and took a few risks here and there because I didn't have much to lose. Life here had to be better than Kmart right? There were at least people my age to hang out with in Gainesville. Laura and I were friends and it was great to work alongside of her in the office. My job was fulfilling. It may have just been answering emails and phone calls, but in comparison to my life at home it was an exciting ministry! I started to hope that I could hope again. Those first few months in Gainesville were a huge gulp of cold spring water to a soul that was thirsty and dry. I didn't think it could get any better really. Now I know.

Through December I processed some of my World Race experiences and the life I had been living since returning home. I started to recognize the dramatic change in my life. For the first time I admitted to myself that I was "better" before going on the World Race. I just didn't know why.

I kept stepping out in faith. I dared to hope. God was in the midst of it all and I was starting to build friendships and take on more responsibilities in my job. God was faithful to provide the encouragement I needed. I hadn't realized just how much I needed somebody to "speak life" to me. Now I know.

When January 2008 came, so did a whole bunch of new people. Tons of people came to work at AIM in that time and the amount of twenty-something's grew instantly. I can make friends fast, but Jimmy and I were pretty quick to connect over Survivor, Harry Potter, and World Geography. Seriously, we were instant friends. Kayla had been at home in Texas for the holidays, but as soon as she showed up we became a powerful trio. There was a close bond that I don't think any of us could explain but God obviously orchestrated. God was doing a huge work in many lives and this was just the beginning of something unbelievable.

From January through June we worked hard and played hard. Community became real in the lives of all of us at AIM. We called our ever-growing group "The Band" and we prayed together, worshipped together, and goofed off. In the midst of a supportive and encouraging community I began to step out in ministry and in life. I was growing again. I was hoping. I may even have been dreaming a little. It was great. It was more than I expected after life at Kmart... much more. I chose into it.

Around June and July though, I started to settle. I needed a catalyst to spur me on toward something more. One night at "Band Church" we did a little listening prayer time. I was praying and thanking the Lord when He gave me the revelation I needed. I always thanked Him for my new situation... my community... my friends... I thanked God because life was good. Would I still thank Him and seek Him with expectancy if all of this was taken away? In that moment I stopped and checked my heart. My answer was "Yes." That night's prayer time jumpstarted some radical revelations from the Lord over the summer.

By August we were running the Ignition Training Camp for the October 2008 squad. I was getting burnt out from a busy season and working through transitions in life. I wasn't ready to commit to pouring out for the training camp. I was on the verge of taking over a new role and getting responsibilities I could easily mess up. Satan was on the prowl. The attacks and pressure must have shown in my life because Ben Messner approached me to ask how I was doing. "Fine," I said.

I wasn't failing... I wasn't a mess... I could handle it all. I had to manage all of the changes and new responsibilities in order to keep my life that I had grown to love intact. Do you ever get the sense that somebody's heart is burdened for you? Ben came over to me at the campfire that night to pray for me. I was scared of admitting my fears that were plaguing me and revealing the reality of who I was and where I had been for the past 3 years. While I had been in a good place for a while, I had gradually increased the expectations on myself, and I was on the brink of not being able to meet them. When Ben asked me what was going on, all I could tell him was, "I don't know... something."

He called me out that night by the campfire and I broke. My friends came to support me. They all prayed for me as I let loose the burdens of my heart... everything I'd held in for the past few years. The wall that blocked my path and future came tumbling down that night and I felt free. I could hope again. I viewed my future with a hope and expectancy that I hadn't had in three years. It was awesome. I was free.

I called Kayla to share the news. Both she and Laura celebrated with me. I started to be vulnerable and real with those closest to me. I began to trust and be confident in my giftings. I started to believe that I was still the same person I was when I graduated college and I was still capable of doing everything I once dreamed of doing.

Since that night a month ago, I've had some battles. I've been fighting a little, but I think a lot of others have been fighting for me. One Wednesday during our normal AIM prayer time, God told me that I had been settling just because my life in Gainesville was better that my life at Kmart. He told me that there was more. I believed Him. I've been pressing in for more ever since.

Then this week it happened. I finally got a revelation from the Lord. Now I know what caused all of this to happen. Now I know the root of it all.

Continued in "Now I Know - The Conclusion"

Now I Know - The Conclusion (Pt. 4)

Wed, 3 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Continued from "Now I Know - Getting Unstuck"

I had come home from a World Race staff dinner on Tuesday night. Kayla was journaling and having some chill time when I arrived, so I grabbed my book and sat on the couch opposite her. I had been reading "The Shack" and it was sparking some good conversations with the Lord. As I read that night, the chapter talked about responsibilities and expectations. In the book, God tells the main character that He doesn't have any expectations of Him. Why would He if He already knew everything in advance? So, because He had no expectations of the guy, the guy couldn't really disappoint Him. Well... wow.

How incredibly simple and yet totally different from the way I lived my life. What I had determined to be true in my heart was the complete opposite of what I had just read and it instantly rocked my world. I just sat in stunned silence... tears coming to the surface. As I sat there and mulled things over in my head, the Holy Spirit made things "click." All of a sudden I just knew. The pieces came together. This was it. This was the answer I had been searching for! All the expectations I had put on myself led to failure and that led to fear and false beliefs all-around... and BAM! I'm stuck at Kmart. Now I know.

At this point, I just want to celebrate. The light is shining on what has been in the dark for 3 years. It's all out in the open. It's all in my journal. I want everybody to know my story. I'm not ashamed. I'm free like I haven't been in a years. I'm done with holding myself back with stupid expectations and beliefs about what and where I'm supposed to be. I'm done with letting the enemy steal my hopes and dreams. I'm free to go out and help stop AIDS from overrunning Africa or free to work in an office and share the truth of God's grace and love with tons of missions trip applicants who want to go and love the world. I can do either in full confidence that I'm equipped and loved by Him. What more do I really need?

God has been so faithful through this entire journey. I've been broken for a while now, but He has been slowly molding me and shaping me for the next season of my life. It hasn't been easy. Many of you may not know any of this because I've tried so hard to hold it all in and look like I've got it all together. Still, He knew my heart was hurting. He knew I had taken the bait of Satan. He loved me enough to reach down and put me in a community that encouraged and spoke truth over me. The Lord has turned this all around and has cleared the road to a bright and hopeful future where I get to love and be loved no matter what. It's a great place to be and I'm more excited than ever about what's next.

I had ended my World Race with a blog about being "On the Edge" of something great and being willing to jump into the open arms of Jesus... perhaps I'm finally really there. I'm at least finally okay with the fact it may have taken me 3 years to get here. The truth is that no matter where you are at in life, looking over the edge is scary. When I was on that bridge that day, getting ready to bungee jump, I was nervous about "jumping right." The girl who went right before me got to the edge, looked over, got scared out of her mind, and just kind of.... fell. It was an ugly jump. Until I saw her fall over the edge, I hadn't been worried about the kind of jump I made off the edge. I feel like that's where I've been in life these past couple of years. I knew really diving off the edge and trusting in Him would be a little scary, especially if the leap was big... but I've been standing back and worrying what my jump would look like to everybody else. I wanted to get it right. That's not important to me anymore. God has freed me from making a "pretty jump." He just wants my heart to be willing to jump, He'll do the rest of the work.

This has been a great personal revelation. I'm sure many of you don't necessarily need this bit of info for your current situation and circumstance. Still, I'd love for everybody to celebrate this victory with me and faithfully fight for your own.

I think I've finally finished The World Race. Who knew that the finish line in South Africa wasn't the end of the journey? Now I know.

My World Race 2006 Video Recap

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

This is the video I made to recap my year on the World Race. Enjoy folks.

On the Edge...

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

So we are finished. The first world race is officially over. We have crossed the actual finish line. We have even said some of our dreaded goodbyes. The last few weeks have been a time of debrief and fellowship with the family I've traveled the entire world alongside. So many tears, so many laug hs, and so many prayers together, and in 24 hours I'll leave most of it behind - the remnants of it etched on my heart and in my memories.

Over the past couple weeks in Jeffery's Bay we have shared in a fancy formal dinner, a night of prayer and pizza with one another, and one last trip to Cape Town with some of our South African companions. What an end to an amazing year. This is a trip of a lifetime. The echoes of our phrases this year, "Who does this?" "A life like no other," "We must be crazy!" God has shown Himself to us in a myriad of ways around the globe. Who can forget the praying orphans of India, the lost Tibetan monks high in the hills, the war-torn children of Bosnia, or the poorest of poor in the slums of Kibera? I'm so thankful for the knowledge of God, the world, and ministry that I've gained. I'm thankful for the way God has used all the world racers this year to impact people for His glory. I'm thankful that He provided every step of the way and has brought me to the finish line.

At the beginning of this trip I didn't have the funds to go all the way around the globe. I thought I would just run out and go home when God wanted me to go home. Apparantly He never wanted me to go home, because through thick and thin, I'm at the end. Even at the crucial point in Turkey when I went to Africa on faith that I would get more money, He was there. I was never in danger of being left alone by Him. That's one very valuable lesson to learn. So in acknowledgment of that lesson I did something crazy this week. I wanted to finish with style. In one of our debrief lessons we talked about being intiated into a radical life for Jesus. I think just going on this crazy trip will do that, but I did a little something extra to make sure.

I jumped off a bridge. It's not just any bridge either... it's the third highest bridge in the world, and the highest bungy jump in the world at 216 m. I placed my toes over the edge, and in 3-2-1 bungy - I fell into the open arms of Jesus without fear. It's crazy I know, but I promise I won't forget my faith lesson from the year. At the bottom of the jump I just prayed (upside down mind you) that God would keep the memory of this year, the lesson, the closeness I've felt with Him... that it would all be close to my heart for my future ministry and endeavors.

So that's it, after a year of traveling and ministering I know that I will trust God for anything. I know that His arms will always be open to catch me. I will never bash my head against the rocks as long as I trust in Him. I'm on the edge... the edge of a radical life lived for Christ, the edge of big opportunities and choices.... and I'm not scared...not at all.

"As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

- Rom. 10:11

Living with HIV

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Sorry the blogs have been few and far between over the time in South Africa. We have been cramming so much into our last weeks of ministry. Over the past couple of weeks we have been working with "Beat the Drum." We are showing a hollywood-made movie about AIDS in schools and then spending the week talking about it in the context of the students' community.

Last week we talked to 8th graders. I think it was beneficial for them to hear and see the repercussions of a wild sexual lifestyle. Many kids gave their lives to the Lord at the end of the week and signed a commitment to abstain from sex until they were married. It was an awesome and hectic week.

This week we are in a new school talking to students in the 10th grade. After we recieved some letters from the students I realized that 10th grade might be to late. So many of them are already facing issues that deal with HIV/AIDS, teen pregnancy, and other STD's. One girl's letter simply said, "I have HIV/AIDS." My heart broke for her, but today, she came to me after the lesson and asked to talk to me. She told me who she was and asked for help. What am I supposed to say? I have never known anybody that had the disease. I only know the facts that are in the movies and materials we show the kids. I don't know what life is like for the people in this community. I don't know the terrible realities that they face. I gave it to God and I was able to say some things to her and pray for her. My heart was broken as I watched the tears run down her face and felt her hands shake in mine. She can't be more than 17-years-old.

The problem of AIDS in Africa is real. We hear about it in America, but I don't think we understand that the population of the entire continent is suffering. 5.5 million people in South Africa alone are HIV positive. 1 in 5 women between the ages of 20-24 are HIV positive. We've got to stand up as Christians and help these people. To many of them die every day without the hope of Jesus and He's the only hope that they have. Pray for them. Pray for the "Beat the Drum" ministry. Pray for my new friend that I met today.