So we are finished.  The first world race is officially over.  We have crossed the actual finish line.  We have even said some of our dreaded goodbyes.  The last few weeks have been a time of debrief and fellowship with the family I've traveled the entire world alongside.  So many tears, so many laug hs, and so many prayers together, and in 24 hours I'll leave most of it behind - the remnants of it etched on my heart and in my memories. 

Over the past couple weeks in Jeffery's Bay we have shared in a fancy formal dinner, a night of prayer and pizza with one another, and one last trip to Cape Town with some of our South African companions.  What an end to an amazing year.  This is a trip of a lifetime.  The echoes of our phrases this year, "Who does this?"  "A life like no other,"  "We must be crazy!"  God has shown Himself to us in a myriad of ways around the globe.  Who can forget the praying orphans of India, the lost Tibetan monks high in the hills, the war-torn children of Bosnia, or the poorest of poor in the slums of Kibera?  I'm so thankful for the knowledge of God, the world, and ministry that I've gained.  I'm thankful for the way God has used all the world racers this year to impact people for His glory.  I'm thankful that He provided every step of the way and has brought me to the finish line. 

At the beginning of this trip I didn't have the funds to go all the way around the globe.  I thought I would just run out and go home when God wanted me to go home.  Apparantly He never wanted me to go home, because through thick and thin, I'm at the end.  Even at the crucial point in Turkey when I went to Africa on faith that I would get more money, He was there.  I was never in danger of being left alone by Him.  That's one very valuable lesson to learn.  So in acknowledgment of that lesson I did something crazy this week.  I wanted to finish with style.  In one of our debrief lessons we talked about being intiated into a radical life for Jesus.  I think just going on this crazy trip will do that, but I did a little something extra to make sure. 

I jumped off a bridge.  It's not just any bridge either... it's the third highest bridge in the world, and the highest bungy jump in the world at 216 m.  I placed my toes over the edge, and in 3-2-1 bungy - I fell into the open arms of Jesus without fear.  It's crazy   I know, but I promise I won't forget my faith lesson from the year.  At the bottom of the jump I just prayed (upside down mind you) that God would keep the memory of this year, the lesson, the closeness I've felt with Him... that it would all be close to my heart for my future ministry and endeavors. 

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So that's it, after a year of traveling and ministering I know that I will trust God for anything.  I know that His arms will always be open to catch me.  I will never bash my head against the rocks as long as I trust in Him.  I'm on the edge... the edge of a radical life lived for Christ, the edge of big opportunities and choices.... and I'm not scared...not at all. 

"As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

  - Rom. 10:11

Sorry the blogs have been few and far between over the time in South Africa.  We have been cramming so much into our last weeks of ministry.  Over the past couple of weeks we have been working with "Beat the Drum."  We are showing a hollywood-made movie about AIDS in schools and then spending the week talking about it in the context of the students' community.

Last week we talked to 8th graders.  I think it was beneficial for them to hear and see the repercussions of a wild sexual lifestyle.  Many kids gave their lives to the Lord at the end of the week and signed a commitment to abstain from sex until they were married.  It was an awesome and hectic week.

This week we are in a new school talking to students in the 10th grade.  After we recieved some letters from the students I realized that 10th grade might be to late.  So many of them are already facing issues that deal with HIV/AIDS, teen pregnancy, and other STD's.  One girl's letter simply said, "I have HIV/AIDS."  My heart broke for her, but today, she came to me after the lesson and asked to talk to me.  She told me who she was and asked for help.  What am I supposed to say?  I have never known anybody that had the disease.  I only know the facts that are in the movies and materials we show the kids.  I don't know what life is like for the people in this community.  I don't know the terrible realities that they face.  I gave it to God and I was able to say some things to her and pray for her.  My heart was broken as I watched the tears run down her face and felt her hands shake in mine.  She can't be more than 17-years-old. 

The problem of AIDS in Africa is real.  We hear about it in America, but I don't think we understand that the population of the entire continent is suffering.  5.5 million people in South Africa alone are HIV positive.  1 in 5 women between the ages of 20-24 are HIV positive.  We've got to stand up as Christians and help these people.  To many of them die every day without the hope of Jesus and He's the only hope that they have.  Pray for them.  Pray for the "Beat the Drum" ministry.  Pray for my new friend that I met today. 

I'm down in Jeffery's Bay South Africa, in the Eastern Cape.  You'll have to find that on the map.  It's just west of Port Elizabeth were we raced to yesterday.   We rented a Ford Focus and drove it 10 and a half hours down through the country and got to the peir last night at 6:30.  It was a wonderful time and the last race of the year.  We await the final results. 

We just went on a safari and it was spectacular.  We went to Pilanesburg National Park, northwest of Pretoria.  I didn't think I would like it, but it was sooo  cool.  I thought you would go and pay a lot of money to get into some cramped safari truck and ride around a cricle for two hours hopefully seeing something neat.  That's not it at all.  We rented our own vans and you get to drive yourself around the park, taking back trails and getting out to go into the hides and watch the animals at the watering holes and everything.  It was sooo neat. 

We took about two hour shifts out, 3 shifts the first day, and then the next morning we got up early and went out for the 6:00 AM last shift.  We saw about 22 different species or something like that.  It was fun trying to spot them in the grass or the trees or rocks.  If it weren't were the South Africans we would not have known the names of any of the animals.

They sure were pretty, espeically the Impalas.  We saw hippos...a little baby that opened it's mouth real wide to yawn.  We saw lots of zebras and giraffes.  One giraffe walked right out in front of the van across the rode and stopped on the other side to eat.  Their tounges are sooo long.  Half the park just got burnt down in a big fire, and some of it was still smoldering.  We were driving through a burnt section and didn't expect to see anything and then this HUGE african elephant with big big tusks walked across the road in front of us.  It was awesome. 

Later in the day we started to see some Rhinos, but they were really far away.  We kept looking for lions and all sorts of cats but to no avail.  I would have burnt a hole in the tall grass the way I was trying to stare through it and see the cheetahs and stuff.   We saw ostritchs, baboons, warthogs, and impalas in the gated area where we camped out!  Warthogs outside by tent! 

The last morning we wanted to try and find the lions, so we got up early hoping to catch them after a long night's prowl.  We started out on the main road and what was the first thing we saw...standing right on the road...half of it's feet on the pavement... two HUGE rhinos!  IT was a mama and a baby and we had to be careful passing by them because the mama was getting nervous.  You should have seen the horn on this thing.  We kept going and I saw a tiny little cat thing in the road... it was a linx type animal called a caracal. 

As we continued driving around we saw most of the normal animals and two more rhinos on the roadside.  Finally we flagged down a car and asked if they had seen any lions and he pointed out on the map where two males had been spotted that morning.  We drove around the waterhole to where they would have been.  As we got closer I noticed a pile-up of cars ahead... and I knew it was there.  We pulled up and there, on the burnt land headed toward the waterhole, was a big big lion.  He had a nice mane and just walked like he owned the place.  I felt sorry for the wildebeests that weren't to far away.  We backtracked to a hide by the waterhole to see if he came out and chased any of them down.  We really wanted to see some predetor/prey action.  It's one thing to see all this in a zoo...but it's another to be out in the wild.  Granted it's a nature park and preserve, but it's huge and these animals can do whatever they want in there.  It's still nature.   So to be a stone's throw away from a lion, rhino, african elephant, and all sorts of other animals is just crazy.  I could have stayed longer doing that stuff it was lots of fun.  

Out of the Big 5, the biggest and most precious animals to hunt in Africa, I saw three.  I saw the Lion, the Rhino, and the Elephant.  I missed out on the buffalo and leopard...they have to be hard to spot because they only prowl at night in trees and rocky areas.  

Now we are down south getting ready to do some ministry in the schools promoting AIDS awareness.  We are at Jeffery's Bay right now, the place all the surfers long to come.  It's supposedly got the best surf in the world.  All I know is that I stuck my toe in it a minute ago and it's ice cold.  And....the hot surfers look better from the safety of the beach!  We are all exicted about our time ministering in South Africa, the homeland of our travel buddies.  We've got lots to do and we've still got to prepare our minds and hearts for home.  How in the world do you talk about this year when you get home.  It's so much to process.  Pray for us as we finish up the last weeks of the World Race! (Hopefully there will be pictures up soon!)

We've been working hard in Kibera the past few weeks, and the fruit of it is all is amazing.  God continues to break into the hearts of the people we meet in our door-to-door evangelism, our outreaches, and people we randomly meet on the street. 

Last Saturday we had our first open-air outreach.  We preformed a couple of dramas, shared some testimonies, and Gary presented the Gospel.  The location was quite strategic.  One of our pastors had recently started a church near this area of Kibera and it was known for the many bars that edged the so-called "street."  In the middle of the muck and mire of this area, Laura got face-down in the dirt to preform the drama, we kicked up dirt dancing for the Lord with a man from the Masaii tribe, an d Gary shouted in the microphone the story of Jesus Christ. 

Lots of kids showed up at first, but as we got into the dramas lots of adults stopped to watch as well.  Many of the men were drunk, evident by the blood-shot eyes and slurred Swahilli.  God did amazing things though, and many people accepted Christ, young and old.  All of us in the crowd kept talking it up to find out who was a Christian and who wasn't.  It amazes me that so many are like, "No I don't know Jesus but I'd like to!"  That hasn't happened on this trip and it's so refreshing.  We went home celebrating th e work of the Lord in Kibera.

On Sunday we had planned to go to a baptism service, but Paul had been asked to preach at Pastor Jackson's church.  Because the church was so small only a few of us could go.  I volunteered to go with Paul to the church.  He did a great job preaching through James 2, but was cut a little short because of time.  The guest before him was supposed to read the Scripture verse for the day and instead he got up and preached for an hour!  It was in Swahilli and I don't even know if the Scripture and his impromptu sermon went together!  It was quite the moment of hilarity.

When I got home I found out that an 11 year old boy named James that had been visiting us and hanging out at our house got baptised too.  He had only went to follow us to church, but Pastor Timothy changed his mind once he got there.  That was a happy moment because James is my good Kenyan friend.

On Monday we took the day off, but it wasn't really a day off.  It was Jessica Friske's birthday so we spent the whole day partying with her and capped it off with a big party at the house with our Canadian friends.  It was a swing-dance party (lessons taught by Gary and Katherine!).  We all had a blast celebrating our friend, one another, and the good times in Kenya.

Another day this week we went out to a school with Lillian.  It's a small building, partitioned off into classrooms.  I got to sit in on a Class 4 lesson.  It was basically a review o f their math skills.  It's been a while since I've thought through fractions and shapes.  The kids were very eager to answer the questions and were very sm art.  This particular school was really neat because they have a garden attached to the schoolyard.  Everyday after the regular classes end, the students go to the garden to learn about the environment.  Each student has a tree planted there and all the trees together form the shape of Kenya.  It's refreshing to see these kids learning how to take care of their land and air. 

Many of the kids there are orphans, and after our tour of the school we walked to their new home.  Just recently they have acquired a giant house and lots of land down the road from the school to house the orphans.  It was so nice to see that these kids have a good home and place to stay.  They preformed lots of dances for us and showed off their skills.  We led them in some songs and were blessed to be with them for the day.

Pastor Timothy took us on a walking tour of Kibera to see the parts of town we haven't been in yet.  He pointed out the places he has discipleship centers, businesses really, and the n took us to the school that is affilated with his church.  When we got there we got to feed all the kids lunch.  They are so precious and cute, and they were also very hungry!  We really got to see the lifestyle of the people in Kibera. They even have to pay rent for their shacks and for every single bucket of dirty water they need.  It really opened our eyes to the needs and what to pray for here in Kibera. 

I have been sick the past couple of days and have missed out on some of the door-to-door evangelism, and the second open-air outreach.  The reports are great though.  People continue to get saved and the Lord is working on hearts to the left and to the right.  The FYM's arrive here this week, and we hope to help get ready for them.  Their leaders are already here.  Pastor Timothy wants to take us around to do some door-to-door some more and we continually have visitors who just want to sit and talk about Jesus, life, and everything inbetween.  It's a blessed time in Kenya that's for sure!

"How are you?  How are you?  How are you?"  That is the chant of the African children that we hear anytime we walk down the streets here in Kibera, the biggest slums in all of Africa.  They practically sing it in unison, skipping down the muddy, trash-filled streets.  These kids are precious.   Their big beautiful eyes stare up to you, dirty hands extended, waiting for you to greet them.  This place, though full of love...even the love of Jesus Christ, is hurting.  Sickness, germs, AIDS and HI V, poverty...these are the problems surrounding the million or so people in Kibera. 

We arrived in Kenya without most of our luggage.  Having decided to live our lives as simply as possible in Africa, God was just giving us the extra push to start it all out.  I had Casey braid my hair to cover up the frizz and I borrowed clothes for church that first Sunday.  The service was amazing.  The people praised God will out their being, and I don't think there was a soul in Kibera that couldn't hear that outrageously loud sound system.  Apparantly they have played all their music that loud for some time because the speakers were definetly busted.  None the less, these people praised God.  It was youth Sunday, and the yound people of the congregation had taken over.  Testimonies, songs, Scripture readings... they did it all.  What a great introduction to the hearts of the Kenyan people.

We are staying at the AIM base here, and have been welcomed by three Canadians who work with Drime, a drama group from Vancouver.  Those Canadaians make for great hosts and friends.  I've been able to work with DRIME through AIM on other trips, but these three are new friends and I'm glad to have met the hospitality of Mark, Shelly, and Lillian.  Basically, I love them already.  Pray for them as they work on and build DRIME Kenya's ministry.  The Brown Team and the Red Team are finally together for ministry.  We are missing Sarah Rinn and Jessica Sission because they chose to go to Tanzania with the South Africans. 

We met up with Pastor Mike, and he told us that we would be doing lots of door-to-door evangelism, open-air outreaches in the streets, ministry in the schools, and hopefully some orphanage ministry.  For the first couple of days we got together and had drama practice.  We know that the people here love to see them, and it will be a vital tool in our open-air ministry.  Laura has written some dramas, and I have written some, and we have the old faithfuls as well  (ironically, they are DRIME dramas!). 

On Tuesday we  did our first door-to-door evangelism.  Three pastors, Mike, Levy, and Jackson came to  lead us to their neighborhoods.  Before we even got to the places where we would start, Gary had led a lady to Christ!  It was quite awesome to just stop and talk to this woman on the side of the road and have her accept Jesus Christ into her heart.  As the day continued, 4 more people got saved!  We prayed for people and blessed the homes of our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Kim K and I went to one house and the mother was really sick.  She had twins that were still babies.  One of them had been burned really badly when a bowl of hot porridge had spilled all over his chest and neck.  The baby was in terrible pain, and with the mother as sick as she was, there was little joy in the home.  My heart was broken for this family. 

On Thursday we went into Kibera to visit Pastor Mike's pre-school.  It's a Christian school with about 20 kids.  The building is a one room shack .  The alaphabet, shapes, numbers, and colors are all painted onto the metal walls.  Pastor Mike told us that many of the kids come from poor families, and even though the school fees are the lowest in the area, they can't really pay them.  One of the boys comes from a single-parent home where the mom is unemployed.  The only meal he gets is the porridge that Pastor Mike prepares and brings the kids in the morning.  We were able to sing songs, do a little drama, and play with them at school.  Afterwards w e went to every kids home and prayed with their families.  It was a great day, but quite exhausting.  The needs in Kibera are great.  I'm glad we serve a great God.  Nothing is impossible for Him.

Today we hope to go out and do some more door-to-door evangelism.  The harvest is truly ripe here, and many of the believers need some encouragement.  Pray that the Lord works in the hearts of the people we visit and that they see the amazing hope that they have in Him.  We are also practicing all our dramas because we doing an open-air outreach tomorrow afternoon, complete with testimonies, singing, dramas, and a message br ought from the Word of God.  There is so much work to be done here.  The Christian community is strong though.  A ll the pastors we have met have a huge heart for their lost neighbors and a passion for the Lord.  They are encouraging to us!  This month in Kibera will break our hearts in a new way... it will make a special place for Africa on our hearts.

Oh, and on a special fun note... our Canadian friends threw us an amazing Girl's Night In.  It was complete with roses, invitations, and lots of great snacks.  We sat around and talked the night away.  We were able to share about God's grace in each of our lives and make some awesome friends with Shelley and Lillian.  Though Mark didn't stick around for girl's night, he's a good friend too.  It was a blessing indeed. 

 In Him - Ashley

Egypt's theme song: 

"I've got a River of life flowing out of me.  Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see.  Opens prison door sets the captives free.  I've got a river of life flowing out of me."

These past few weeks we have been in the middle of Egypt, along the banks of the Nile and the desert.  That river is truly the life source of the country.  I've read all about it in my history books, but it is something completely different to see and experience it.  The banks are fertile and growing.  Everything is in abundance.  If you keep moving out east or west of the river you will come to a point where the scenery dramatically changes from this green, tropical paradise, to a hot, dry desert.  It is sudden and abrupt.  The river's water only gives life to a certain point, and then you can see the effe cts on the land that isn't connected to the source. 

When we came to Egypt I didn't know what to expect.  God is so full of surprises though.  When Gary, Katherine, and I made it to Cairo from Turkey, we only had a about 5 hours to rest before we left with the rest of the group to our ministry location.  That was surprise #1.  The second surprise was that we would be working with the Coptic (Egyptian) Orthodox Church.  I didn't even know what that was or that it existed.  The third surprise was that there would be a long bus ride through Egypt to this place. 

I hadn't even expected to make it this far into the trip, so when our bus passed right alongside the pyramids, I almost had a cow.  I couldn't ignore the beauty of the western boundaries of the Sahara, no matter how tired I was.  It was a sweet time relishing in God's provision to get me this far into the trip, and for expecting Him to do mighty things  in the week ahead. 

We arrived in our village and were immediately escorted into town by the Egyptian Tourist police.  These AK-47 wielding guys picked up the trail just outside of town and led us straight into town where the Church compound was located.  At the compound or host, Evelyn, took us to our residence for the week.  It's actually the Bishop's residence, and he lives in style.  His home had enough room for all 22 of us, and then extra space for handing out.  It was beautiful and we were quite thankful to be out of the cold.  Just two nights before we had been sleeping on the streets at the ferry dock in Samos Greece. 

I moved into my room, and got settled with a long nap to recover from all the traveling.  Everybody woke up from their fitful sweaty sleeps and moved downstairs to discuss our ministry plans.  Evelyn had arranged for us to have lots of options as far as the ministry f or the week was concerned.  Immediately I k new that God had big plans for this unexpected time in Egypt.

The list of options included an orphange, and I was raising my hand to volunteer for than before the words were all completely out of her mouth.  Lana, Estee, Sarah C., and I were going to visit a girl's orphanage ev eryday of the week and minister to them.  We've been to the orphange in India and loved on so many kids through the camps in Bosnia, that we could hardly contain our excitement for this ministry.  We were ready to love some kids.

I also volunteered to lead the organization of some of the events for the week.  This was actually the first time I had stepped up for this kind of stuff on the trip and I was really excited.  Since God is keeping me on this trip, and I've deepened my faith in Him lately, I guess I'm just doind more and more risky things.  I thought I would organize our ministry for their youth service.  There were suppopsed to be 1000 students there!  What could I do in a service like that? 

After we fnished organizing our ministry plans, our first duty was to attend the English Reader's Club.  The discussion that night was about freedom.  God was already orchestraing the minsitry from that first night.  As we talked with our new Egyptian friends about fre edom, there was some confusion.  What we were trying to explain didn't seem to come across the language and culture barriers.  We finished the night out, but God had plans to continue that discussion later in the week. 

Sarah Cruz and I had been talking about this one song she wanted to write a drama to.  It's called "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns.  So in the heat of the day that week, when nothing was going on, we decided to work out all the details of the drama so we could eventually teach it and use it.  Because I'm a drama queen I got really exci ted and in two days we fnished making up the entire drama.  With little to do in a meeting for 1000 kids, I thought the time was right to use our newly created tool.  We put out a casting call at dinner, and Laura and Chad showed up for practice.  Chad would be playing the role of Jesus, Laura would be Demon #1,  Sarah was the distressed girl, and I would be Demon #2.  It was hard to find time to pracitce between all the different ministries that were going on, but we squeezed it all in during our small ounces of freetime. 

As the youth night approached we spent some time praying for what else to do.  So, I got Jacques and Laura to give their testimonies, Gary to lead everyone in some small discussions, and the Red Team to preform our old faithful, "In the Light."  God had put the theme of "freedom" together for us.  We prayed some more for the ministry, and went into the service.  Surprise again!  Instead of 1000 students, there were only about 100!  At least we were all mentally prepared to speak loudly and make big dramtic movements for the dramas.  I think everyone heard fine though.  As we began the program, more peop le came in.  They applauded when Jesus sets the girl free from all her bondages, and listened intenetly to the real life stories of my fellow racers.  We had to cut our discussion short because in Egypt women like to get married at 9:00 PM, but we made arrangements to meet on the roof afterwards and talk with everybody.  We were able to make lots of friends that night, and God used it to explain the true meaning of freedom.  At the end of the week we visited the English Reader's Club again, and they were all talking about how they were finally understanding the concept.  It's a difficult idea to wrap you mind around.  We have to surrender to gain freedom and as free beings we are to submit to God-given authroities.  God is so amazing to work all that out and touch lives with it.

At the orphanage that week we got to love on 8 little girls who were really well taken care of.  Their "mom" made sure they were always clean and the church provided food and housing for them.  But they still craved the love and attention of others.  The mom is a busy woman with all 8 of them to take care of.  But, when we got there no girl's hands were left empty.  We always had a girl on each arm.  Jesus is truly the only one who can give us the love we all desparately seek.  We had an amazing time singing songs, teaching the girls dramas, painting nails, and doing crafts.  All of them had beautiful dark eyes.  At the end of the week they made us little cross necklaces and sang us farewell songs in Arabic.  I miss them already.

It was an amazing week working with a different part of the Body of Christ.  It was so neat to see how different and yet sincere their worship was in the Coptic Church.  We learned that God has always had big plans for Egypt.  The prophecy in Isaiah 19:19 is true.  The hearts of the Egyptians will turn to God.  They are the fertile plants growing on the bank of the river of life.  They just happento be on the banks of the Nile when they do it!  Continue to lif t up our brothers and sisters in Egypt.  They face persecition for their beliefs and thus need a boldness to preach the gospel.  These people were very dear to my heart and it's been one of my favorite ministry locations of the year. 

I'm glad God brought me to Africa.  I'm glad He is still providing all my needs.  Thanks for giving to the cause of the World Race and promoting the Gospel fo Jesus Christ worldwide in this ministry.  Many of us are still in need financially and we ask that you seek the Lord about supporting us.  We have so much ministry left to do.  God is amazing and wants to orchestrate more lessons on freedom all over this continenet.  Pray for us, please support us, and thank you for keeping up with our ministry!

 - In Christ - Ashley

After two weeks of summer camp in Croatia, the red team has returned to Mostar, Bosnia.  We were working with Misssions without Borders, trying to help with their annual summer camps for young kids in Bosnia.  Every year they take two bus loads of kids to an island, Obonjan Island, which when translated means "Young Island."  There is plenty of swimming, dancing, running, and fun.  For many of these kids, it's the one chance during the year to get three square meals a day, have somebody lovingly pat them on the back, and live a carefree life of a 12-year-old.  This week I feel in love with a little girl.  This is her story.  This is the story about how she broke my heart.  It's straight from my personal journal, where I wrote it down when she got on the boat and left.

Saturday, July 18th, 2006 - Young Island Croatia

Today, I got my very first brokenheart.  It didn't come by the hands of some boy, but a sweet 9-year-old girl named Ivana.  Since arriving at camp, I've noticed her.  Tiny, quiet, and shy, Ivana tucks away in every crowd.  But, I've seen her.  She's got the cutest silky black hair, bushy little eyebrows over the darkest brown eyes, and a squishy nose.  It's just cute, really. 

Nikolina, my new friend and co-volunteer, lives near her and told me that she comes from a bad situation and family.  One of 3 girls, Ivana lives with an alcoholic father.  He earns money soley to drink, never for anything else.  In alcoholic rages he beats the mother and the girls.  Ivana lives in fear.  You can see it.  She never laughs out loud, speaks loud or repeats herself.  She doesn't like to be touched, especially by guys, but not even by girls.  Hers is only one sad story of the kids at this camp.  Actually, sadly, it's a common story all over the world.  It's quite common for kids just down my street at home to suffer in similiar situations. 

But this time, something was different.  My heart was pulled to her like nobody ever before.  All the kids from all the other countries, and this is the girl that grabs me heart and soul.  The first part of camp, she had nothing to do with me.  She stayed quiet and reserved.  Then on Thursday night, during the late night dance party, a breathrough happened.  She sat down outside with me on the patio.  Soon, a game of "Hot hands" began.  As I tickled her palms, and she tickled mine, a smile came across her face.  It was a big smile.  She was actually having fun.  We bonded after more than an hour.  She laughed out loud, covered her face when she lost the game, and jumped in her seat when she won.  Finally, I hugged her and took her to bed.  I helped her brush her teeth and get ready for bed, then I tucked her in and told her goodnight.  "Laka noch."  I went away praying for her, knowing her sad home situation.  God was burdening my heart to pray for her. 

On Friday, I walked her to breakfast, swimtime, and lunch.  In the evening, she grabbed me and walked me to the beach.  That was quite a funny experience, mainly because she was leading me and couldn't communicate with me where we were going.  At the beach, she bought an icecream, and happily munched it down.  I wondered how often she got icecream at home.  After she had smeared enough on her face, given me some of chocolate coating, and eaten the rest, she jumped up and went and bought another.  We skipped back to camp, holding hands.  All the while, she talked my ear off in Croatian.  I taught her how to say, "tractor," as one drove past. 

That night, during the talent show, she made me sit beside her.  Even amidst the loud karaoke music, she laid her head on my shoulder and went to sleep.  Nikolina helped me get her to bed.  She woke up, and not wanting to be in the room all alone, she made me sleep on the bottom bunk.  I laid there praying for her until she went to sleep.  My heart was full of love for her. 

Today, (Saturday) we talked some, walked to breakfast together, and talked some more.  Mostly she teaches me Croatian, but for a bit, she slipped off and drew me a picture.  She came to me and surprised me.  She was definetly proud of her drawing.  Across the top, she wrote "I Love You Ashley!"  Then, in the middle was a big heart with the words, "Volim Te Ashley!"  Nikolina said she somehow already knew how to spell my name.  That was special.

Soon after, we had one last walk to lunch and to the boat dock.  We hugged, played with each other's hair, and played more hot hands.  It was a sweet moment.  There was nobody else in the world, only me and Ivana.  For one week she had escaped her normal life, the life that is so unfair for such a sweet 9-year-old girl.  It was all coming to a close though, and all I could do was hope that she had met with Jesus.  He's the only peace she could take home with her. 

The ferry came into view.  That's all it took for reality to set in... for both of us.  She grabbed me around the waist, hugged me with a force beyound her tiny muscles, and cried into my light blue t-shirt.  She looked up into my eyes, big alligator tears in hers, and spoke a plea without words.  She didn't want to leave.  I saw it deep in her soul.  I didn't want to let go.  As I fought back tears, we clinged to one another.  Then, others came to tell me goodbye.  I wanted to look up and give all the kids a good farewell, but I couldn't pull myself away from Ivana etiher. 

Finally, with all the faith and courage I could muster, I let Nikolina take her on the boat.  Immediately emotion welled-up in me and burst free.  The boat began to pull away with me standing on the dock trying for one last glimpse.  She came to the rail, tears still flowing, shoulders rising and falling as she gasped for breath.  We gave our last waves, blew kisses, and cried for one another.  With the boat out of sight, it was all I could do to keep from falling to my knees and screaming out to God for her to come back. 

All day I've prayed for her.  I've prayed for her family, for her life, for her to find the hope in Jesus that she so desparetely needs.  So many of these kids need to find their hope and strength in Christ.  I couldn't imagine being in their circumstances without standing on the rock of Jesus.  I've been praying for understanding and for encouragement.  I want desparetely to recover from this broken-heart so I can give back to more kids in the second week of camp.  This is my first broken-heart.  What a day.

God knows how much love Ivana needed, and He broke my heart for her so I could give all of my life to her.  It took only two days to be completely broken for her, to empty out all of myself for her.  I'll never forget Ivana....never.

Those are the words from my journal a week ago.  God is so good because he continued to pour love into me for the second batch of kids.  He used a simple game of "hot hands" to open the heart of a battered little girl.  Perhaps Jesus entered in.  I don't speak Croatian, I don't know.  One thing I do know is that she had the opportunity to experience and see Jesus at camp.  The love and care from all the volunteers is just the outstretched arm of Jesus.  Pray for little children like Ivana all over the world.  These kids find themselves born into situations that they don't deserve to be in.  But God will have glory in their lives, and especially if they have the opportunity to see Jesus in people like us.  Find the "Ivanas" in your town and show them love and compassion.  They are there, probably just down the street.  Have God break your heart for them so that they can see Him.